The twins wore argyle today. Argyle sweater vests, black and red, over their uniforms. No one said anything about it, but the image of two identical, preppy nerds will always hold a place in my heart.

In English class, we went over proverbs. Stuff like 'a penny saved is a penny earned' and 'one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.' Afterward, Neil and I had a proverb-off, where we tried to name as many as we could. It ended like this.

Neil: I think this is the straw that broke the camel's back.
Me: No kidding. It was definitely the grain of rice that tipped my scales.

We arrived at the lunch room, in which the sweater vested twins waited.

"You're late." Hans accused.

Frans mumbled something in German that was too soft for me to pick up.

"You know, though." Neil began, an evil glint of competition in his eyes. "It's better to be late--"

"Than pregnant." The twins finished for him.

I was still laughing when we sat down with our food.

"I am so glad I can't get pregnant." Taki said.

"Same here." Hans and Frans agreed.

"I don't know..." I mused. "I don't think it can be that bad."

"You want to produce a screaming, bloody child from between your legs?" Edmund shook his head.

"Are you gay?" The twins asked together.

"No." I snapped. "I...um...well...never mind." I turned red and looked down at my food to avoid meeting their eyes.

"I don't think it's that weird that Ethan wouldn't mind having a kid." Kellen the hot sub sat down next to me. "I mean, he must have a creative mind to imagine it, and then a well trained mind to accept it as possible. These days, men can definitely give birth. Don't you guys watch Oprah?"

I was so grateful I could have kissed him. But I was pretending to be a boy, so that would have seemed just a little homo. And, even if I wasn't, I still probably wouldn't have kissed him, because kisses should be saved for people you like, and, even though Kellen was easy on the eyes and very nice, I didn't like him that way. So I guess I wouldn't have kissed him, but I was really thankful, and you get the picture.

"Are you gay?" the twins asked Kellen.

He stood up. "As a matter of fact, I am."

I turned bright red. Not only had I been thinking about kissing him, whether I decided to or not, but he was also the only nice guy in this whole school, except perhaps Neil, and fate just had to make my next possible love interest gay.

A note on hot gay guys.

Is it just me, or all most gay guys hot? Does it come with being gay? Is it just their impeccable fashion sense? Or is it something else? I don't know...

OK, note over.

"Ethan, are you alright?" Neil asked. "Your face is really red."

I clasped my hands to my face and turned an even darker shade. "I'm going to the nurse." I lied.

"Here, let me take you." Kellen offered, helping me stand, though I didn't need it.

So I had no choice but to accept the awkward walk to the nurse with Kellen. When we got there, I said I had a headache, and skipped my other classes, resting on one of the nurse's hard cots.

Being a sheep is hard work.