"Wow."

"They're so hot."

"Are they all models or something?"

"I like the tall, blond guy."

"What about the silent one?"

"Hey, isn't the short one really cute?"

"He kinda looks like Zac Efron."

"I still like the blond one."

I almost died from shame. I did not look like Zac Efron. I stared at the ground, wanting nothing more than to disappear, but Adam swung an arm over my shoulder.

"Where do you want to go?" He asked, totally ignoring the many girls who had gathered to see the Four Lords on one of their nights on the town.

"I really don't care." I told him, removing his arm. "I just want to do my homework."

Adam put a hand on my head and ruffled my hair. The action, though normally affectionate, was purely to mess up my hair, I think. "Butterfly." Adam said, looking over his shoulder. "Where do you want to go?"

Butterfly shrugged.

"Alex?" Adam asked.

Alex sighed. "I saw a really cute guy back there." He pointed his thumb over his shoulder. "I'm going to go check him out."

And then he left.

"It would be better if Damian was hear." Adam said with mock sadness. "But he had another girl to see."

"Yeah, I know." I said, agreeing with him for once. "He could take some of our fan club away."

"Do you not like the fan club?" Adam waved at the small crowd of girls.

"I'm a girl." I hissed. "I don't want girls fawning over me."

No sooner were the words out of my mouth than arms wrapped around my middle. "Ethan!" A familiar voice exclaimed.

"Hey, Caroline." I removed myself from her embrace. "What are you doing here?"

"Well..." She began, and the whole story came out. Apparently Xoi, who had previously been pretending to be my girlfriend, was mad enough at me to 'break up'. Now Caroline was free to pursue her "undying feelings" for me.

I consequently spent the next twenty minutes trying to get away. Adam was no help. Whenever I said that I had to go to the bathroom, he grabbed me by the back of my Prada polo (he had dressed me) and told me that I could endue for a little longer.

Finally, I managed escape, hiding in the boy's bathroom in one of the stalls. She couldn't get me there.

But the problem with my hiding place was simple. The men's' restroom was not the cleanest of places, nor the most comfortable. And for me, it was extremely awkward. So as soon as I was sure Caroline had gone to look fro me elsewhere, I poked my head out and walked quickly (because running is conspicuous) to the music store I had been to last trip to town.

"Hello," Patrick, the teenage boy who worked there, said brightly as I entered. "How can I help you?"

"Hey." I greeted. "Can I hide in here?"

So we sat behind the counter, and I told him about being chased by a girl I didn't like. (I didn't dare tell him that I'm a girl.) He gave me some advice, none of which worked in my situation, but it was nice to see that he cared, even if it was just a little.

I spent about an hour hiding, then called my friends to come pick me up. Neil was too busy, Hans and Frans didn't want to, Edmund asked what was in it for him, and Taki, though he wanted to come, was being forced to eat fried rice by his older brother Takashi, who just showed up at Lakewood and was wreaking havoc.

"I can give you a lift." Partick offered. "Let me ask my dad to borrow his car."

I think that Partick's dad's car was probably the cheepest vehicle ever to past that gothic L on the gates, or to drive down that cobbled avenue to the huge brick school building. I thanked him as much as I could without sounding too weird and went back to my school as rain began to fall. I let out a deep sigh and went in to start on my homework.

I was dragging myself out of another PE class, exhausted and still bright red from the exercise, when I ran into Kellen (Mr. Bridge), the hot sub.

"Ethan." He said when he saw me, and, for a moment, I was glad that he remembered my name. Well, not really my name, but you know what I mean. "What happened to you?"

I shook my head, still unable to spare enough oxygen for speaking normally. I pointed back at the gym behind me.

"I see." Kellen chuckled. "I never did like physical education myself. Here," He took my heavy books from my arms. "Let me help."

"Thanks." I smiled up at him thankfully. I love gay guys.

But then I remembered, Kellen thought I was a guy, and he was gay. Are normal young and attractive teachers this nice to all students? Was it normal for a guy to help a guy? Was this something more than an innocent book carrying?

"Can I...um...have those back?" I gestured at my books in his arms.

"But you're exhausted. At least let me carry them to your next class for you."

How do you say 'no' to that? I will never know.

On our way through the empty hallways (class had already started) Kellen and I talked about the horrors of gym class and contretemps that occurred therein.

"And we were asked to line up," He was saying enthusiastically. "When I tripped over my shoelaces and fell into the most popular girl in the whole school. And when I tried to get up, my hand found a not-so-appropriate place to support myself. She slapped me, thinking I was a pervert or something. It was shortly after that when I came out of the closet."

I laughed. Though the story wasn't all that funny, Kellen had a way of talking that made everything he say just a little bit humorous. His facial expressions lit up his words and his voice inflection made me wonder if he had ever been on the debate team.

We arrived outside my classroom shortly thereafter, where Kellen write me a pass for being late and I walked into class, smiling. It wasn't everyday that a hot guy carried my stuff for me, even if this one was gay.

"Why are you grinning like an idiot?" Hans asked as I sat down beside him.

I shrugged. "Why not?"

In room 222, Butterfly was chopping wood. He wore no shirt, revealing abs that rivaled even Neil's, and his fair hair was damp with perspiration. Chunks of wood flew from his ax and skidded across the tile floor. One landed near my foot.

"Butterfly." I said, going over to him. "Why are you chopping wood?"

He wiped his forehead and shrugged.

"I don't understand it either." Alex said in a whisper. "But, you know, insanity does run in his family."

"His family?"

"Yeah. Ever heard of the Blakes? They're really rich, but...um...not the sanest."

"Blake?" I asked. "Like Neil?"

"Yeah. Didn't you know Neil and Butterfly are cousins?"

"No, I didn't." I looked at Butterfly in a whole new light now. Neil's cousin. They didn't look very similar (Neil with dark hair and blue eyes, Butterfly with silver blond hair and emotionless grey eyes), but I thought of my cousins and realized we didn't look a thing like each other either.

"Weird." I told Alex softly.

"You should meet the rest of their families."

Was madness really hereditary? I have to look it up, but for now and for some reason, Butterfly was chopping wood.

So, I was making cranes in class today, and my teacher was not pleased. "Put it away." He said gruffly.

I did, and, when his back was turned, I took out my half folded bird.

"Put it away." He said again.

"It's for school, sir." I replied. If I wasn't cross dressing, I would have opened my eyes up really wide, showing him my control over my tear glands.

"Put it away."

"But we're not doing anything, sir."

"I don't care."

"But, sir!" I protested (Writing this makes it seem like I live back in the nineteen hundreds. But 'sirs' and 'ma'am' are used frequently in this place.)

"Sir," Neil interjected (What did I tell you?). "What if I told you that Ethan here has Leukemia, and folding paper cranes helps him find peace with the world before his inevitable demise?"

"Does he have Leukemia?" My teacher asked.

"Correct me if I'm wrong, sir," Neil began. "But where does it say in the school rules that a student must give out personal information to near strangers?"

The teacher turned beet red, and Hans and Frans walked to the front of the room, presenting him with a red covered school rulebook. I didn't even know that they new such a thing existed.

Or teacher flipped through the pages, then, resignedly said, "Fine then. Fold you stupid paper."

I smiled thankfully at Neil, who winked. Hans and Frans made little bows before returning to their respective seats. (At least, I think it was Hans that went to Hans' seat, but I can't really be sure.)

I only got to 279 cranes, but I was given some old piano music to fold up and a box of "Make an Airplane-A-Day" with only two months missing from it. Only 721 cranes to go.

Two hundred and fifteen cranes today. I worked all through the school day, but, when fifth period came around and I was once again preparing myself to skip gym, Neil grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me into the locker room. "No skipping today." He said in a brotherly tone as the smells of cologne, sweat, and unwashed clothes assaulted me. He pulled me past the lockers and partially naked boys, then opened the door for the gymnasium itself.

Neil concocted an elaborate tale about the scars on my back (it was my excuse for not taking off my shirt.) He politely explained that, due to my lack of self confidence, it would be highly problematic for me to change my clothes in front of others and suggested that I be given access to one of the private changing rooms. Our teacher nodded his bald head and pointed to the nearest of the rooms.

Gym class was horrible. I remembered once again why I had hated it so much. We spent the first fifteen minutes running, and that meant no stopping, or else the teacher, who looked like a bodybuilder and spoke about as much as Butterfly, would make you do extra laps of the large gym. After that, we did about a hundred (I lost count at sixty seven) push ups and sit ups. No wonder all the guys here had great abs.

Half dead, we divided into teams for a friendly soccer match, during which I was hit twice with the ball, tackled by Hans and Frans, punched in the ribs by a boy whose name I had yet to learn, and made a spectacular save when Neil was away from our team's goal. By the end of it, I was so exhausted, all I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and die. I made it about halfway across the gym after everyone had left for the locker rooms, and collapsed. Would they let me stay here? I wondered hopefully. Could I just lay on the cool wood floor until the strength returned to my limbs? I could serve as an obstacle in class. 'The first team to get past the girl wins,' or I could be a divider line or something. I was just content to not have to use my muscles, or lack there of.

"Ethan?" Taki's voice seemed to come from a long way away.

"I'm dead." I explained, my voice muffled by the gym floor. "Leave me alone."

"You have class in five minutes, and you haven't showered yet." Alex came over and turned me around onto my back.

"Too tired." I replied groggily.

"I could help you." Taki offered, then seemed to understand the implications of what he had said and blushed.

"Are you gay?" Alex asked, obviously interested. For a moment, I considered matchmaking Taki and Alex, but my weary mind couldn't grasp the picture.

"No." Taki said quickly. "I swear, I'm not gay."

Alex looked disappointed and helped me to my feet. My legs shook slightly but held.

"I hate gym class." I moaned as I persuaded my sore limbs to move me in the direction of the private dressing room. "I really, really hate it."

Extra credit was a blessing from the gods of this education system. Since we were studying Japan at the moment in World Civilizations, we were given the opportunity to fold a thousand paper cranes for extra points. Though it was my best class and I held the highest grade in the whole grade, I didn't want to have to worry about taking the final in a month or so. It would be great not to have to study for one class.

So, there I was, around noon, in the common area, folding paper at impressive speeds and chatting with Alex, who had begun with the idea of helping me, but was now doodling in the margins of his math homework.

"What are you gonna wish for?" Hans and Frans said, coming up behind me. Frans snatched my finished crane out of my hands and sent it into the air like it was an paper airplane. It made a weird loop in the air and plummeted to the polished wood floor in a nosedive.

"I don't know." I said, getting up and retrieving my fallen bird. "Maybe a long and healthy life or something like that." I shrugged. "I'm really doing this for the extra credit."

Taki and Edmund entered the common room together, Edmund in full horseback riding attire and Taki in designer jeans and tshirt. It was an amusing contrast.

"You're making cranes!" Taki said, spotting me. "Let me help."

"Okay." I took out stack of papers from my school bag. (No, not a backpack. This thing was like a briefcase for school.) "Do you know how?"

Taki insisted that every person born and raised in Japan knew how to fold a paper crane, but he got stuck half way through.

Alex, the twins, and I laughed at his weird, square-ish design that didn't even remotely resemble a bird. "Hey." Taki said indignantly. "I must have forgotten. I haven't made a crane since fifth grade."

"Here." I reached over and took the paper from him. Our hands brushed, and he with drew his quickly.

"Sorry." He mumbled, his face red.

I laughed at his expression. "You messed up here." I pointed out, unfolding his first attempt. I retaught him how to make a crane, and, by the end of the afternoon, we had one hundred and sixty two cranes. Everyone besides Taki had left, and, as I was putting the birds safely into a cardboard box, he said, all of a sudden, "You kinda remind me of a girl, Ethan."

The crane I had been moving slipped from my fingers. "What are you taking about?" I laughed and slapped his back in what I hoped was a manly way.

Taki, blushing again, looked away. "You just do. You look..." He seemed to be struggling for the right word. "Cute."

If one could die of shock, I would have seen the light. I nearly toppled over, but caught myself on the thick tabletop. "What did you say?" I asked, hoping I had misheard.

"Never mind." Taki's ears had turned a deep shade of crimson. "Just forget it." And he left, just like that.

I finished picking up my cranes in a state of minor shock. I carried them back to my room, where Neil sat by the window, reading. He looked up when I entered. "Something wrong?" He asked.

I shook my head, slid the box under my bed, and set to work on my laptop. I Googled "looking like a guy", "acting like a man", and "how to be a transvestite" but learned nothing about keeping my disguise. Life pretty much sucked when you couldn't feel good about being called cute by a good looking guy. I buried my head in my hands.

"Something wrong?" Neil asked again.

"Nope, nothing." I replied quickly. Life really sucked when you had to lie to your super hot roommate,fold a thousand freakin' cranes, and keep your gender secret from your whole school.

Saturday morning, in a bout of good spirits and because the weather was just so nice, my friends decided to to walk to the lake. I was dragged along, of course, and when we finally got there, they proceeded to remove their shirts and dived into the dark depths. I watched them, torn between fascination with their abs and a sinking feeling that they would try to make me swim too.

"Come on in, Ethan." Hans said.

"The water is great." Frans added.

Edmund wiped wet hair from his eyes and said, "Or is it that you're afraid?" in his British accent.

"I'm not afraid." I protested. "I just don't like to swim." Neil came up from behind me and began to remove my shirt. I yelped, pulling it down. "I don't want to swim!" I shouted, and that was that.

After a while, Taki waded back to the shore. "Ethan, I'll keep you company." He pulled himself up onto the rock I had climbed to better watch my friends.

"Don't you want to swim?"

He shrugged. "Nii-chan's onsen is way better. Do you like hot springs?"

"I've never been to one." I replied.

"Then you have to come to Nii-chan's this summer. You can stay in the main house with me. We can even go to Tokyo one day, or visit Kyoto, or--"

"Hey,slow down." I held up my hands in surrender. "I don't even have a passport, and there is no way you can smuggle me to Japan and back."

"You don't have a passport?" Taki said this like it was some outrageous, egregious crime. He stood up and called down to the others. "Guys, Ethan doesn't have a passport."

They stopped their game of aquatic Ultimate Frisbee and looked up. "No passport?" They all asked at the same time.

"Well, I guess I should have assumed so." Edmund said. "After all, he is a commoner."

"But we've heard of commoners having passports." Hans and Frans said together. "Isn't that what they call tourists?"

"I agree, this is most disappointing." Edmund stepped out of the water and retrieved his cell phone from his neatly folded shirt. "And, by calculating the average rate of bureaucracy, time for processing and verification, not to mention obtaining medical treatment and the correct vaccinations," He pressed some buttons on his phone, "It would take roughly six months for Ethan to receive his passport."

"But that's the whole summer vacation!" The twins said in shock.

"This is terrible." Taki said sadly. "I was going to take you all over Japan, and we were going to have so much fun. You would have seen the natural beauty of the land. We could have visited Okinawa and the island resort. And then we could have gone for walks on the beach and..." He stopped abruptly and turned red. "We would have been together all summer."

"We were planning on taking him to our Oma's castle." Hans and Frans climbed out of the water. "As a commoner, he doesn't get so see cool things like that or drive one of our cars on the Autobahn."

"Well, at least you don't have to reschedule tea with the queen." Edmund replied, punching in a number on his phone. "Yes, this is the Baron." He said into the receiver. "Yes, put on James." There was a long pause. "James, I want you to move all of my summer things to the New York penthouse, I have a guest coming there this summer....I know it's completely unsuitable for normal inhabitants, but this guest of mine doesn't have a passport."

"Stop." I shouted. "I can't go to New York any more than Paris. I'm planning on getting a job."

The silence that followed was so absolute, so all-consuming, that even the waves seemed to stop. "A job?" Hans and Frans asked in hushed voices. "Like...work?"

"Yeah. Work." I replied. "So I'm not going anywhere this summer."

Edmund shut his phone with a click. "I guess that changes things."

"Yeah." Neil agreed. "I was planning to rest this summer. Maybe staying in the States would be good for everyone. Where were you planning on working, Ethan?"

"I was going to stay with my grandmother in Florida, and work at the amusement park nearby." I answered, almost afraid of what they would do with the information.

Edmund re-opened his phone with a snap. "Scratch that, James. I'll be in Florida."

Hans and Frans exchanged evil grins. "We should call Oma and cancel." Hans said.

"We should." Frans smiled wickedly.

What had I gotten myself into?

It was six o clock, and I knew the time had come.

If I had lived in the old west, this would have taken place on empty, dusty streets, lit by a flaming sun. Dust would have been picked up by a hot wind, which still failed to blow away the tension in the air. If this had been in a superhero comic, this would have taken place in the supervillain's dark and gloomy lair or the hero's glitzy mansion. If I lived in a romance story, I bet this would have been in an ivy covered gazebo, a rooftop, or even a bedroom, but no. This was real life, and my confrontation with Evan was on an empty, windswept field, where the grass had grown considerably in the past week, now over a foot tall.

Neil stood supporting behind me and to my right, kind of like a second in a gunfight. Only we didn't have firearms. We had words.

"Evan." I almost growled. "Get lost."

"Ethan." Evan replied. "Why do you think I even care?"

I choked on my preplanned response. "Why wouldn't you?"

"Because I know every freakin' ((Only he didn't say freakin')) thing about you. I know what you think before you think it. I know what you want, what you need, your dreams, your nightmares."

"You are the source of my nightmares." I replied scathingly. "And you just contradicted yourself."

Evan ignored me and pointed at Neil. "Who is he?"

"My roommate and friend."

"Your lover?"

"More like my big brother."

Evan smirked. "Since when have you been incestrious?"

Neil stepped forward, becoming my shield to stand between us. "Shut up."

"Who do you think you are?" Evan demanded, his voice rising with indignation.

"Cornelius Blake, heir to Blake Industries, fourteen hotel chains, three private schools, six international businesses, eighteen local companies, and the majority of the Blake fortune." Neil said threateningly. "The real question here is: Who do you think you are?"

Evan stared in shock. I was staring too, but at least I had the decency to do it to his back. How had I gone almost two months without knowing that my roommate came from one of the richest families in the world?

"Let's go, Ethan." Neil said softly, and we returned to our room in silence.

"Sorry, Neil. I'm really sorry that I made you go through that. It's just that--"

"You don't need to explain." Neil interrupted. "I know tons of guys with secret homosexual relationships on the side. It's alright, I won't tell."

So now he thinks I'm gay. I thought. Oh well, It's better than finding out that I'm a girl.

I skipped again today. I just couldn't bring myself to face Evan. Adam took me for a spin in his Ferrari, and we ended up going to the fanciest restaurant in the town for lunch. When classes finished and I went back to do my homework, I found Neil in our room, reading.

"Where have you been?" He asked. "You only come here to sleep, it seems, and you haven't been in class."

"I know." I replied. "I can't go. I'm sick."

He put a hand on my forehead. "You don't have a fever."

"Well, I'm sick." I argued. "I'm going now."

I grabbed my violin and left.

The Second Violin was soon to appear. When we finished our Mozart, I sat down next to him in the cool, new grass. "Have you ever been in love?" I asked him.

His bells jingled as he shook his head no. "I don't think one could really call it love. Lust, like, brief periods of fondness, yes, but not love."

"Well, I have." I said. "I was in love for a really long time, practically since birth. I would have done anything for him, if it would just make him smile at me or look thankfully at me. He was my reason for living. Every night, the last thing I though of was him, and getting out of bed was solely to see him once more. But then..." I found I couldn't finish my life story. I guess my wounds were still too fresh.

"You hate him now?" The Second Violin guessed.

"Yeah."

"So, you've been avoiding him, all these months, and Evan Hart has finally caught up to you?"

"How did you know it was Him?" I asked.

"It's simple logic, really. He's the only new student around here, and you have two classes with him, so you have to fake sick so you don't see him."

"Are you a stalker too, or just a weirdo in a mask?"

The Second Violin chuckled. "The latter." He cleared his throat. "Are you afraid you'll fall in love with him again?"

"No, of course not!" I lied.

He laughed again and stood up. "Just do what you need to and step back and watch. Things will fall into place."

"Or apart." I mutter under my breath as he left. "Things will fall into place or fall apart."

Evan arrived at Lakewood today. It was like hell, but without the flames.

Even though he's a year older than me, he's still a freshman, due to his six month European tour last year. He's in my math and chemistry class. Allow me to recount our dealings with each other today.

I always listen to classical music in the morning, when my math classroom is empty and quiet. It does something to relax me, lets me start out on a good foot, but, when I was navigating my way on my iPod to my favorite Bach concerto, a hand whipped it out of my grasp.

"Do you have any of my stuff?" Evan asked, looking way to good in his school uniform. He went through my songs (I could hear it clicking in my earbuds) and looked shocked when he couldn't find a thing by Amethyst Drive.

"I thought you were like my biggest fan." Evan sighed and sunk into the desk next to me. "I mean, you do still love me, don't you, Ethan."

"Leave me alone." I said, turning my back to him. "And give me back my iPod."

"I don't think so." Evan said in a sing-song voice. I could tell that he was smiling. "How about you tell me why you are pretending to hate me."

"Pretending?" I asked, incredulously. "Are you an idiot?"

"For the sake of the argument, let us assume that I am."

"No." I stood up, pulling my earbuds out simultaneously. "I'm never going to speak with you again." I started to walk to the door.

"Nathi." He called after me.

I spun on my heel. "Never again." I hissed. "Never call me that again. I am known as Ethan now. I am not the girl you grew up with. And, to answer your question from before, I think you're a total bastard. There is no way that I can't hate you. I despise, loathe, dete--" But my list of synonyms for hate was cut off abruptly when Evan enveloped me in one of those backward hugs.

"What the hell are you doing?" I demanded, trying to break free, but it seemed that even superstars worked out, and Evan had acquired considerable upper body strength.

"Shhh." He whispered in my ear. "Just hold still."

"I think you should unhand the lady." A sweet voice came from the door. I looked up to see Adam, leaning against the door frame, looking like a Twilight-esque vampire and displaying some very Edward like qualities.

Evan let go of me instantly. I guess even idiots understood the Alpha Male thing.

"Adam?" I asked, not really believing my eyes.

He flashed me that winning grin, standing up straight and coming over. He put a hand on Evan's shoulder, almost like the way good guy friends do, but he squeezed just a little too hard to be companionable. Evan grimaced in pain. "Just to let you know." Adam said quietly to him. "Ethan is the Four Lords's dog. If you do anything to disrupt that relationship..." He trailed off, letting Evan's lackluster imagination fill in the rest.

Evan glared at him. "One day--" He began.

"One day, I'm you're not careful, a friend of mine will knock upon your door in the middle of the night, and the last thing you'll ever see will be tattooed red eyes." He turned to me. "Let's go, Ethan." Adam steered me out of the room.

He wouldn't let me return to classes, after he learned that Evan was in two of them. Instead, he drove me to the nearest bookstore and we spent the school day drinking tea and hot chocolate.

Was it just me, or did his personality change overnight?

I guess not, though, because, when we arrived back at school, he told me that the club room needed to be cleaned and handed me a toothbrush.

At least I got to listen to my classical scrubbing down that marble floor.

I ran into the Zachs on my way out of room 222. They were huddled in deep conversation, pouring over what looked to be a simple, black box.

"What's up?" I asked, going over to them.

Zaak explained, "We have just made contact with intelligent alien life."

"Or so we think." Zach added.

"Think what?" I asked. "Intelligent or alien."

"Probably either one or the other." Zack clarified.

"But there is a possibility..."

"...However slight...."

"...That they are both."

I stared at them in shock, not just because they had possibly contacted aliens, but because they seemed to think as one entity. I considered telling them this, but Zach said, "But, then again, it could just be that kid in Pennsylvania again."

The other Zacks murmured agreement, and all three lapsed into scientific musings so advanced that I couldn't follow. I left them for the common room.

Scary, I think, was the only word for it. Terrifying worked well too, but there were no words that could describe the person who sat with Adam at the little table, drinking tea from expensive looking cups.

The newcomer was big. Not fat big, but just huge and muscular. Slightly matted dark hair fell to nearly his shoulders in wild waves, and his gaunt face seemed only to serve the purpose of holding his tattooed red eyes. Black pupils surveyed me, sucking away my soul with the devilish gaze. I barely held back my scream.

"Oh, little Ethan, you're here." Adam smiled like nothing was amiss. "Come join us. Boris and I were just about to have tea."

I considered telling him that I would have rather had tea with a psychotic serial killer than this guy, but I saw the look in his eye and sat down as far as I could from the stranger.

"Boris, this is Ethan Smith. Ethan, this is my childhood friend, Boris Thannis."

I guess that it's your friends who define your character. I thought. No wonder Adam turned out to be a sadist.

Boris held out a hand for me to shake, and I tentatively touched it. Our handshake was the shortest i had ever experienced.

Boris was not the dignified villain that Adam was, nor did he have the leader of the Four Lords's charm. He was a brute, a monster, and a killing machine on two legs. He unearthed daggers from his long black coat to spear his olives, and ate them right off the blade. He told stories about things his had done in the Middle East, his murderous adventures in a cannibalistic Brazilian tribe, and how to correctly figure the extent of firepower needed to destroy a given building. I was afraid for my life.

When Boris left, grunting what I hoped were thank yous and not death threats, I collapsed into a the nearest, most comfortable looking chair, which just happened to be Adam's throne. I think I fell asleep, because, when I opened my eyes, it was nearing sunset. I sat up, and a blanket fell off me. Wondering who had put it there, I looked around, but room 222 was empty.

I shrugged to myself and folded the blanket up, but, as I did so, I couldn't help wishing that Boris Thannis never returned.

The Second Violin became my new obsession. I examined chins, trying to match up the only part of his face with every guy I knew, but my search was fruitless. I ended up playing in the east gardens, and, when I heard his violin reply solemnly, I lowered my choice weapon and faced him like a man. Well, sort of.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

The boy shrugged. "No one of consequence."

"Like hell you are." I shot back. "And why are you even here?"

The Second Violin made a sound that could have been a cough, but it developed into full out laugh. He was doubled up with mirth so intense that all I could do was stand there in shock, looking like a deer in the headlights. I hadn't even said anything funny.

"I'm...alright." He said, recovering from his fit of laughter. "I'd like to tell you who I am, but..."

There was a very pregnant pause.

"OK...OK.." I said, shattering the tense silence. "I don't need to know."

"Good." He sighed in relief. "For that, I promise to keep your secret. I'll look out for you, be the ally you never had but have always needed. I'll help you, as long as you never again try to find out my name or face."

This dude was just a little too weird, but, for some reason, I couldn't help liking him. And the mystery behind him, under the queerness, was quite intriguing.

So we talked. About life, about music, about Lakewood. He began to ask me why I skipped gym class every Monday, but stopped halfway through the question. Of course I would skip PE.

Like most conversations with guys, we ended up discussing DragonBall Z. Then the dinner bell rang and he left. I thought about following him, trying to find out his identity, but I remembered my promise to him, and I let him go, trudging back to the dining hall to eat the caviar in crystal glasses, swan--still feathered--and fried rice. I still don't know why they served fried rice with practically every meal, but I wasn't complaining. It was better than eating plumaged bird.

Apparently, I screwed up big. I can't be sure how, but on Monday, I got a nasty phone message from Reily, and Xoi wouldn't speak to me. It was really all Adam's fault. He had told Evan, who was looking for me, the wrong address, so when the rock star showed up at an old woman's house, demanding my presence, they assumed I was to blame. Grated, I hated that guy and wanted him dead, but I was with them at the party at the time, and everything was spun out of proportion by Evan.

So, shunned my my female friends and laughed at by my male ones for being worried about how they felt about me, I found a secluded place (a gazebo a little ways away from the main building) and played my violin.

Sure enough, my hollow notes were soon accompanied by another violin, creating perfect harmony with my sad concerto. When the second movement came, rougher and more aggressive than the first, our bows became fencing swords and we fought for dominance over the music. The song resolved into an echo of the first movement, and, gracefully, the Second Violin and I brought it to a close.

I couldn't resist turning around--for the Second Violin sounded so near--to see a boy in Lakewood attire and an venetian mask lowering his violin. Our eyes met through the holes his mask and we stood, suspended in our own moment in time.

"Hello." I said nervously.

The Second Violin nodded. "Hello, young lady."

"What!" I exclaimed. "I'm a dude."

The boy shook his head, and the bells at the ends of his mask jingled.

The mask itself was a beauty, with a sort of jester-style flair. It was red and gold, with parchment sheet music incorporated around the left eye and up by the bells. I searched the Internet for some masks that resemble it, and the closest I could get was the one at http://www.maskitalia.com/michela.htm (its on the second page) but it still isn't the same. The Second Violin's mask looked more....expensive.

"What are you going to do about it?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Nothing, I suppose. It is nice to have another to play with. Everyone else practices inside"

"How did you know I'm a girl?" I demanded.

He shrugged again, his movements accented by the tinkling of his bells. "You play like one."

I guess that made some sense. I pondered what to do next when the Second Violin spoke up, "Shall we?" He rested his violin against his shoulder.

We played instead of talking. He was far better than I was, but made allowance for my mistakes and blunders with his impressive skill. When we were finished with a duet by Beethoven, I was left in the gazebo with the sole thought: So this is what feelings sound like?

Who knew I went to a school with a masked, violin wielding artist?

I didn't really know what to expect, when Reily called me Saturday afternoon and told me to be at some high school gym a little less than an hour away from Lakewood. When I got there, with Neil, Taki, Edmund, the Zachs, and Hans and Frans (because they insisted upon coming with me. I really just think that they wanted to drive their convertibles in the nice weather), all my friends from Boringsville were there. Xoi greeted me as I stepped out of Neil's car.

"Dude, Reily went crazy." She whispered. "She brought everyone down here for my birthday. And why did you bring all your friends? If it was just us, you wouldn't have to worry about being in disguise."

I hadn't really thought of that. In fact, I was still dressed like a guy, flat like a guy, and with my hair styled like a guys. With a comb and a skirt, I could pass as a girl, but today, with dirt under my short fingernails and those too-big shoes, I definitely looked guy-ish.

"This is going to be really weird." I whispered back as my friends came forward to meet me and my other friends.



"It's just so cool that you are Nathi's cousin." Stefani said, after my lie had been bought and my secret kept so.

"Yeah, but I thought Nathi was coming." Reily said sadly.

"She had a lot of homework." I lied.

Now, if such a thing as love at first sight exists, Yadi had fallen victim to it. Maybe it was just the way he moved, spoke, or offered her cake, but she had fallen for Neil like a like a rock in a high gravity environment. Stefani too seemed to have a particular fondness for my roommate, and Hans (or Frans, I couldn't tell) had literally swept Reily off her feet. And Edmund's hot accent melted layers of my friends' hearts into puddles. I was rather surprised that they weren't dripping.

After a while, Takashi, Taki's older brother, showed up, put on coconut boobs, and joined the party. It was hilarious.

"So that's the heir of a major Japanese company..." Edmund noted, standing by my side. "Interesting."

Everyone seemed to enjoy themselves, listening to music, playing with the Silly String, and eating. Then, when most of us went outside to set off fireworks, the cheap kind, according to the twins, Caroline arrived.

I was eating cake, relaxing on the gym stage, swinging my feet to the rhythm of "Crazier" by Taylor Swift. It was very peaceful, until...

"Ethan? It's me, Caroline."

I jumped off the stage lithely. "What's up?" I asked, wondering if she was even invited in the first place. She was Xoi's roommate, but why didn't she arrive with her?

"I....er....I wanted to..." She stumbled for words before she thrust a handkerchief into my hands. "Here." She said.

I looked at the cloth, remembering that I had given it to her when she was crying at the dance last week.

"It's yours." She reminded me as I hesitated to take it. I really belonged to Adam.

"Thanks." I accepted it and put it into my pocket.

From then on, she wouldn't leave me alone. Now I know how guys feel when they're followed constantly by a girl who likes them, only it was a lot more awkward fro me, because of the gender confusion. I tried everything to escape her, even hiding in the boys' bathroom, but she persisted in her relentless pursuit. It was my third "bathroom break" when I was wandering the school when I found the lights on in one of the rooms.

I was about to turn away when someone shouted, "Hey, you."

I turned around to see the boy from the music shop. "What is it?" I asked.

"You know," the boy held out his hand, for me to shake. "I'm really sorry for thinking that you were a girl."

I concealed my smile. "No biggie." I shook his hand, which was firm and calloused. "I get it all the time."

So, we got to talking. Mostly about music, but a little about each of us. His name was Patrick and he played the trumpet. His job at the music store was a part time thing, for when he needed a little extra spending money. By the time we separated at the gym doors, we were friends.

Both Adam and Caroline were waiting for me. I still don't know how Adam knew I was there, but he did, and, when Caroline almost drowned me in unrequited affection, Adam whisked me away in that Ferrari of his.

"Thanks." I told him as we pulled away.

Adam pretended that he couldn't hear me, but I saw a little smile grow across his lips. Maybe he wasn't as bad as I thought he was.

Xoi's birthday is Tuesday and I still hadn't bought her socks.

The prices in the town were so inflated that I couldn't even afford a book after the socks and gum (which added up to something like twenty dollars. My allowance was 15 dollars a month.) I suppose it was done in the name of business, because, since most of the people who shopped there attended Lakewood or Saint Catherine's, they were mostly insanely wealthy.

I begged Edmund to pay for my tea at the coffee shop, and he did, reluctantly. Then he, Neil, Hans, Frans, and Taki went off somewhere, leaving me practically penniless and alone, which didn't actually bother me very much. I wandered the streets for a while before spying a piano through a music shop's window. I let myself in, and the door made a soft chime to announce my presence.

A boy came in from the back. "What can I do for you?" He asked. He wasn't hot. I noted with relish. (I had more hot guys than I could handle) But he was passably cute.

"Can I play your piano?" I asked slightly hesitantly. Would they just let me play, even if I wasn't considering buying it?

"Sure." He went around to behind the glass counter. "Are you any good?"

I shrugged modestly. Of course I was good, but I wasn't going to just go out and say it. I sat down on the bench, cracked my knuckles, and played some Phantom of the Opera from memory. Then I moved on to Mozart, my fingers dancing over the keys.

The boy watched from the counter. I didn't look at him much, preferring not to be distracted.

After a few songs, the door opened and Taki burst in. "There you are." He said to me. "I've been looking all over for you." He pulled me roughly from the piano bench. "Let's go back to Lakewood."

"Lakewood Academy?" The boy from the counter asked. "Wow." He looked at me apologetically. "I thought you were a girl."

Taki looked at me, still holding my arm at an odd angle. "Yeah." He said softly, like he was talking to himself. "He's a lot like a girl."

"Hey." I ripped my arm out of his grip. "Hey. I'm a dude, not a chick."

Taki still looked at me. I was unnerving. "You're like a chick, though." He said.

I brushed passed him and left, feigning my anger. Later, I would beat him up because of what he said, like all guys did, but for now, I was content to return to Lakewood and make preparations for Xoi's party that night.

I swear, guys are like werewolves. Not only are they unnaturally hairy, but they have an unspoken pack or something. Before today, I had only heard rumors of the legendary 'Alpha Male.' But then, I realized that it was no legend, that this man existed in every group of men. And Lakewood Academy's Alpha is....wait for it.....

OK, wait longer. I've got to tell this story first.

It was eight period, French I, where I pretend to help the crazy French teacher. I sat in my desk, awaiting the bell, which came, and there was a flurry pseudo random movement after which everyone ended up at the door. I exited the door with the other Freshmen was walking down the hallway when the crowd of bustling boys parted right down the middle.

For a second, I thought it was staged. There was no way crowds parted for people these days, but there stood Adam at the end of the rows of students, looking somewhat like a Roman general surveying his troops.

He marched between them, right up to me, the only one who didn't give a little bow or deep nod when he passed. "Mr. Smith." He said. "Perhaps, as a commoner, you are not aware of it, but there is hierarchy at this school. You should heed me, little Ethan." Adam put a hand on my shoulder. "Come." He steered me around and we marched through the parted students together.

Of course, as soon as we were in room 222, Adam the lycanthrope turned back into the wolf and reminded me that I should call him master. Adam, Alpha of Lakewood, reclined in his throne, ordered me around, and drank tea. I wonder if he goes crazy the night of the full moon.....

"I'll keep you my dirty little secret, dirty little secret. Don't tell anyone or you'll be--" I hit the reply button on my cell phone and cut it off mid-song. I felt this new ring tone was very appropriate. It was three in the morning.

Neil groaned from his bed. "Damn it, Ethan. That was a good dream." He murmured before falling back to sleep.

"Hello?" I whispered groggily into the receiver.

"Dude, you owe me." Xoi's voice said from the other end.

"What?"

"I told Caroline that we were dating."

"I'm sorry, but I don't swing that way." I said, still totally out of it because of the time.

"Dude, did you forget? You're in disguise. Caroline is in love with you. You're living with one of the hottest guys I know."

"Let me go back to sleep." I begged her.

"No. You owe me big. Thanks to you, I now have no chance with any of the guys at this new school because I have a 'boyfriend.'"

"Don't you have like six guys falling for you back home?" I said, starting to wake up now. "And, anyway, there are no guys at your school. It's all girls, remember."

Bringing up the guys at home was a sure way to tick her off, or make her depressed. It depended on the day, time, and what she had eaten for the previous meal. I braced myself.

"Forget about all of them." I could just picture Xoi waving her hand to dismiss them. "I like somebody else."

"Who?"

"Nobody."

I gave a dramatic, but quiet, sigh. "I'm going back to sleep. When you want to tell me, tell me, OK?"

"Saturday night, we can hang out. OK? We can play 'would you rather'."

"Sure." I replied. "I'm going back to sleep."

I hung up my phone and sunk back into my pillows. I was just about to fall back into unconsciousness when Neil said, in his sleep, "No, Ray, you're not a gorilla." And that made me laugh so hard that I had to leave the room for fear of waking him.

The twins wore argyle today. Argyle sweater vests, black and red, over their uniforms. No one said anything about it, but the image of two identical, preppy nerds will always hold a place in my heart.

In English class, we went over proverbs. Stuff like 'a penny saved is a penny earned' and 'one bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.' Afterward, Neil and I had a proverb-off, where we tried to name as many as we could. It ended like this.

Neil: I think this is the straw that broke the camel's back.
Me: No kidding. It was definitely the grain of rice that tipped my scales.

We arrived at the lunch room, in which the sweater vested twins waited.

"You're late." Hans accused.

Frans mumbled something in German that was too soft for me to pick up.

"You know, though." Neil began, an evil glint of competition in his eyes. "It's better to be late--"

"Than pregnant." The twins finished for him.

I was still laughing when we sat down with our food.

"I am so glad I can't get pregnant." Taki said.

"Same here." Hans and Frans agreed.

"I don't know..." I mused. "I don't think it can be that bad."

"You want to produce a screaming, bloody child from between your legs?" Edmund shook his head.

"Are you gay?" The twins asked together.

"No." I snapped. "I...um...well...never mind." I turned red and looked down at my food to avoid meeting their eyes.

"I don't think it's that weird that Ethan wouldn't mind having a kid." Kellen the hot sub sat down next to me. "I mean, he must have a creative mind to imagine it, and then a well trained mind to accept it as possible. These days, men can definitely give birth. Don't you guys watch Oprah?"

I was so grateful I could have kissed him. But I was pretending to be a boy, so that would have seemed just a little homo. And, even if I wasn't, I still probably wouldn't have kissed him, because kisses should be saved for people you like, and, even though Kellen was easy on the eyes and very nice, I didn't like him that way. So I guess I wouldn't have kissed him, but I was really thankful, and you get the picture.

"Are you gay?" the twins asked Kellen.

He stood up. "As a matter of fact, I am."

I turned bright red. Not only had I been thinking about kissing him, whether I decided to or not, but he was also the only nice guy in this whole school, except perhaps Neil, and fate just had to make my next possible love interest gay.

A note on hot gay guys.

Is it just me, or all most gay guys hot? Does it come with being gay? Is it just their impeccable fashion sense? Or is it something else? I don't know...

OK, note over.

"Ethan, are you alright?" Neil asked. "Your face is really red."

I clasped my hands to my face and turned an even darker shade. "I'm going to the nurse." I lied.

"Here, let me take you." Kellen offered, helping me stand, though I didn't need it.

So I had no choice but to accept the awkward walk to the nurse with Kellen. When we got there, I said I had a headache, and skipped my other classes, resting on one of the nurse's hard cots.

Being a sheep is hard work.

On Monday, things returned to normal. Classes began like usual, lunch was just as odd (the conversation was about how lightening is formed), and, though the dance was a common topic about Lakewood, it wasn't the only thing people were interested in. In fact, the new chemistry sub was a key conversation starter. He was known as 'the cool sub' and 'the young guy.' I had him second-to-last period, and didn't realize how cool he really was until then.

On my way to chemistry, Hans and Frans bumped into me on their way rollerskating down the halls. My papers (an essay on Things Fall Apart and a notebook full of rather personal math notes) went flying all over, like God had momentarily folded them into airplanes, and I rushed all around, trying to pick them all up.

The bell rang, and my homework still littered the floor. I swore.

"Here." A gentle voice said and handed me a stack of my papers.

I looked up to see an new student, dressed in a green shirt because he hadn't gotten the uniform yet. Or so I thought. He smiled, looked handsome, and then left.

I watched his retreating back. Wow, I remember thinking. He's probably the nicest guy I've met here. Is he another scholarship student?

I hurried into the chemistry classroom, where the green-shirted young man stood by the blackboard. "Hello, Ethan." He said when I sat down, checking the seating chart for my name. "I'm Kellen, the sub."

I turned very red. Class commenced.

You know how some teachers are just good? How they can hold your attention without saying a word and keep you focused, even though you'd rather be elsewhere? (Now that I think about it, I'd rather be in Kellen's--as he insisted we call him--class than any other place on the grounds, and it wasn't just because he was young and handsome. I had enough young and handsome men around me. I swear that they all go to Lakewood.)

Kellen was a very good teacher. When I left, my brain having absorbed the duality of light, I felt a little sad. He was only a sub. When would I see him again? Who knew when the next teacher would fake sick?

Since it was French next, I preformed a stunning rant, jabbering in French and telling Alex all about the hot new sub. He didn't understand a word of it, except maybe il and elle and tres chaud. Then class began, and I had to pretend to pay attention.

So Sunday, at about three in the morning, Xoi called me back. Neil had crashed at Edmund's place, so I had the dorm to myself.

"Hey." I answered my phone. "You're never going to believe this, but--"

"What did you do in the girls' bathroom?" She demanded, cutting me off.

"There was a crying girl, so I hugged her."

Xoi gave an exasperated sigh. "Well, that girl was Caroline, my roommate. I think she's in love with you."

"Oh, shit." I swore, drawing out the words.

"Yeah, listen to this. I'll put you on speaker and go back into the room. Don't talk. I'll bring up you, and then...Just listen, OK?"

After I assured her that I would, I heard a door open and the phone being set on a table. The sound was bad, but I still understood what they were saying.

"So, tell me again about that guy you met." Xoi said, subtly bringing up the subject.

"He was so handsome, and he was so nice." Caroline said. "And he called Jennifer a bitch, and he had such a nice smile..." She sighed.

Xoi appeared to be dying from suppressing her laughter. "What about Jonathan? I thought you liked him."

"Not anymore. Whats-his-name takes up all of my heart."

Under my initial horror, disgust, and embarrassment, I felt a little hurt. She loved me, or so she said, and yet didn't even know my name?

"His name is Ethan." Xoi filled in.

"Ethan." Caroline repeated. "Ethan." A moment of silence passed, and then she said, "But what about the guy you like, Zoey?"

Xoi turned off her phone before replying. I swore and tried to sleep, exhausted, but it didn't come. Near dawn, however, I finally dozed off and slept until noon.

The big dance. That's what it was called. It was in the huge ballroom at Saint Catherine's (thus the big) and people danced. But before we get to the dancing, I can't resist telling you guys about what everyone wore.

The Four Lords wore the same style tailed jacket, all fitted to perfection, and the same black shoes, though Adam's laces were bright pink. He wore a tie of the same color. Alex wore a pastel green tie, and Damian sported a baby blue one. Butterfly wore grey, looked somber, and remained silent all through the dance preparations, which, by the way, for the male gender, takes about one tenth of the time as girls do.

Neil wore black pants and a royal blue shirt that brought out his eyes. If only he left it unbuttoned, to show off his six-pack, he'd be the most sought after boy in the history of the universe. Edmund's blazer had his family crest embroidered on the left breast pocket, and Taki wore a checkered blazer and khakis. The Zachs all matched with black suits and sunglasses. I made them change out of their Star Trek (original series) attire. They settled for the more subtle Mr. Smith (from The Matrix) look. Hans and Frans both wore khakis, but I couldn't tell which one wore the striped navy tie verses the polka dotted one.

At Saint Catherine's, I met up with Xoi, who was now attending school there. She wore a blue, flowy sort of dress, with black high top Chuck Taylors. To put it bluntly, I was appalled. She already had a small circle of friends, who giggled when I came over to her.

"I think that they think I'm your boyfriend." I whispered to her after she hugged me in excitement.


"Dude." she said. "You kinda are, if you think about it. I mean, you are a cross dresser, and you've slept at my house."

"Well, this is insanely awkward." Adam said, butting into our conversation. "Let's go, little Ethan."

And so I was dragged away to meet children of very important family, people with more money than I would ever make in my life, and more hot guys.

Then the dance started.

For the last week or so, I had been learning to dance in the Four Lords' club. I still messed up a lot, probably because I had on men's size seven shoes, and I'm a 6 1/2 in women's. For the first five or so dances, the small orchestra played classical, slow and classical, and everyone danced. Then the orchestra was herded off the stage in the time it takes for a Head On (apply directly to the forehead) commercial. Then a drum set, several guitars, and a keyboard rose slowly onto the stage. Then the real party began.

The richest kids in the world still dance like normal teenager, look like whores, and make out in the corner. They rocked out to the band, which played several songs, before another replaced it. As the men in suits were setting up new instruments, Adam climbed onto the raised platform of a stage and grabbed a microphone.

"Hello, everyone." He said, and everybody, especially the girls, screamed back. "Tonight is a special night. Not just because we have all gathered here for one hell of a party, but also because I have an announcement. As I'm sure you all know, I am Adam Carter, leader of my little club, the Four Lords. But tonight, I'd like to introduce the Four Lords' club dog, Ethan Smith."

I was forced onto the stage to screams from girls and applause. I turned bright red under the lights, and Adam gave me that little, arrogant smile of his. "And, now that that's taken care of, let's all give it up for the newest member of Lakewood Academy, Evan Hart, and his band, Amethyst Drive!"

That all-too-familiar chill went down my back as the shaggy haired and gorgeous Evan Hart and his fellow band members crossed the stage. I think a little piece of my soul died right there abandoned on the stage, but maybe Evan was just wearing too much hair spray, and the fumes were suffocating my brain cells.

Adam dragged me off the stage in a state of shock, where he was stampeded by a hoard of girls. I slipped away, found an unoccupied corner, and sunk to the ground. It was much easier in pants than a dress, I can tell you.


After a while, I decided to do what any typical girl would do, and go to the bathroom to cry. Of course, it was about this time that I forgot that I was cross dressing and went into the girls bathroom, to find that the role of crying girl was already taken.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked, going over to the girl, who's mascara was running down her face in black tears.

She let out an enormous sob, and my maternal instincts kicked in full force. I gave her one of those comforting girl-to-girl hugs, which was kind of a problem. After a while, she took a deep, shuddering breath, and told me the story. She had walked in on her former best friend making out with the boy she'd liked since third grade.

I patted her back consolingly. "That's horrible." I said. "What a bitch."

"I know, and she was my best friend." She started to wipe her tears on the hem of her dress, but I remembered the handkerchief in my jacket pocket, and I handed the neatly folded cloth to her. "Thanks." she said gratefully and looked up at me with eyes now clear of tears. "You know," she began. "This is the girls' bathroom."

I began to swear, but didn't have time. I ran out and back into the ballroom, now pulsing to the Alabaster Sunset. Xoi found me almost immediately and removed me from the premises.

“Where were you?” Xoi asked in one of the gardens, where several couples occupied the bushes. I didn’t think they’d notice our presence.

“In the girls’ bathroom.” I replied.

“Dude, you know you’re not exactly supposed to be there.” She said. “Are you just asking to get caught?”

“No. But there was a crying girl in there.”

“Aren’t there always?”

Our conversation would most likely have gone into greater depth, but Evan stepped over a couple and walked right up to us.

“Hey, you.” He said, pointing at me. “You look a lot like a girl I used to know. Nathalie Smith.”

“Yeah.” I forced a laugh. “I’m her cousin.”

“Yeah.” Xoi agreed. “They’re cousins.” Her lying skills were so bad that I had to send her away, so my true identity wouldn’t be reviled.

So I found myself alone with my worst enemy.

“So…” He began. “Has Nathi mentioned me to you?”

“No.” I said bluntly. “I didn’t even know that you guys went out until someone else told me, which is funny, because she tells me everything important.” One point for the cross dresser. I thought with triumph.

“Well, I’ve seen her naked.” He said offhandedly.

“That was when we were three.” I snapped back, forgetting to talk like a guy in my haste to defend my virtue. “It doesn’t count, you idiot.”

An amused smile grew slowly across his face. “I knew it was you all along.” He said. “What are you doing at a boys’ school, my little Nathi?”

“Getting away from you.” I yelled, not even trying to deny it. “And, anyway, I am not ‘your’ Nathi. In fact, I’m not even Nathi anymore. I’m Ethan.”

Evan was still smiling. “Are you still in love with me, Ethan?”

I raised a hand and slapped him on the face. It probably hurt my hand more than him though, because his smile never faltered and my hand stung. “Like I could ever love a bastard like you.” I said. I turned on my heel. “I’m going now.”

“Wait.” He grabbed my wrist. “I didn’t say that you could go yet.”

Before I had time to think up a reply, a figure jumped between us and grabbed Evan’s arm, twisting it behind him and making him release my wrist.

“Do you think you can tell everyone what to do, just because you’re famous?” Neil whispered threateningly. “Do you think you can have everything, just by waving around some money? Do you think the world now answers to your whim? Do you think you’re God?” He let go of Evan and pushed him away.

“Neil?” The look in his eyes was unfamiliar, cold, and ruthless. I couldn't’t be sure it was him. But then he smiled and turned instantly back to the old Neil.

“I hate nouveau riche.” He said, and we went back into the ballroom.

I danced with several nameless girls, then, after getting the OK from Adam, I left Saint Catherine's at a run. Neil gave me a lift back to school, and we were met by a bunch of guys in the common room. Many of them had just left the dance too, fashionably disappearing. Taki, who sat by the plasma TV, never left.

I went to my room and texted Xoi to call me when she got back to her dorm.

Big dance tonight! But, in the mean time, I'll post these short profiles about the most important people in Lakewood.



Name: Neil (my roommate)

Age: 15.5

Appearance: Tall, dark, and handsome. Great abs and almost unnaturally blue eyes.

Hobbies/interests: Collects swords, does homework. (Wait, you mean that isn't a hobby?)

Odd fact: I seem to get into a lot of awkward situations with him.



Name: Adam Carter (leader of the Four Lords and richest guy at Lakewood)

Age: 17

Appearance: Very good looking with blond hair and blue eyes. The perfect golden boy, if you get what I mean.

Hobbies/interests: Bossing people around, presiding over the Four Lord, driving in his sweet car, charming people, light sabers.

Odd fact: It's not odd, but he's definitely the classic rich boy, but with sadistic qualities.



Name: Butterfly, real name unknown (member of the Four Lords)

Age: 17

Appearance: Silver blond hair. Grey eyes. Emotionless.

Hobbies/interests: I'm not really sure about this guy. He does Kung Fu (black belt, I don't know how many degrees) on weekends and sometimes practices in room 222 during the club.

Odd fact: Rarely speaks, and if he does, it's just in one word responses.



Name: Alex (member of the Four Lords)

Age: 15

Appearance: Greatly resembles a girl, brown hair and brown eyes that look like they were taken out of the head of a fawn. seemingly innocent.

Hobbies/interests: Dressing up, talking. (he's so much like a girl it isn't funny. Well, maybe it is....)

Odd fact: Bi (60-40 straight)



Name: Hans and Frans

Age: 15

Appearance: Light brown hair, german looking, identical to the last hair.

Hobbies/interests: German beer (their family owns a beer company in Germany), parties, causing mischief

Odd fact: They seem to share one mind, and finish each other's sentences



Name: Edmund (Baron of Devonshire)

Age: 16

Appearance: Dark brown hair, always looks nice, brown eyes.

Hobbies/interests: tea, horseback riding, polo, ect.

Odd fact: Wants to take over the world

That's it for the profiles now. I'll write some more later.

Adam decided that the Four Lords should match at the dance tomorrow evening. And I, as their club dog, had to go with the style. Adam handed me a perfectly fitted (for a guy) tailed jacket, a purple tie (He said it was manly) and shoes three sizes too big, because normal guys don't wear women's 6 1/2 shoes.

Returning to my dorm building, I found Taki in a state of panic.

"I can't do this. I can't do this." He was saying repeatedly to Neil. "I can't go."

"So what are you going to do when your several fiances wonder where you are?" Neil replied.

Taki took out a piece of paper from his pocket. "Ok, well, three of my fiances don't attend Saint Catherine's. Ah-lee-uh" He sounded out, reading from the paper, "is away on holiday. So three of them are at SC." He looked horrified by the prospect.

"You know," I said, "Polygamy is illegal in the United States."

"I won't marry them." Taki protested.

Neil gestured to me and drew me aside. "Taki is afraid of women." He said softly. "He hates them with a passion, all because he's engaged to something like seven girls."

"So, is he gay?"

"I'm not gay." Taki shouted. "I just hate women."

"That sounds like your gay." I told him. Taki looked outraged, so I took it back. "Ok, Ok, I'm sorry. You're not gay, you just hate women. Why are you engaged to so many if you hate them?" And, anyway, who even got engaged against their will these days? I guess that rich parents can cut off their kids if they refuse to marry the specified person, but it still sounded old-fashioned and wrong.

"So are you going to the dance or not?" I asked.

"He's going." Edmund said from a couch, looking over the top of his book. "There is no way that he'd lose a chance to dance with 'that person.'"

"'That person'?" I repeated.

For some reason, Taki turned very red. "Just forget it. I'll go." He sludged out of the commons.

"Wow, Edmund, way to crush a man's spirit." Neil took his book from him. "Now, tell me who 'that person' is."

Edmund put on a totally fake sad expression. "My apologizes." He said, snatching his book back. "If I told you, I would be making enemies with one of the future heads of a key Japanese company, and I'm afraid I can't do that if I want to achieve world domination."

"World domination?" I repeated. Who knew he had such lofty goals?

"Correct, my young friend. In the near future, I will stage a coup d'etat, defeat several minor but powerful nations with nuclear weaponry, and force weaker weaker governments to submit to my will." He gave one of those villain type laughs, the kind that you think people only do in movies. "Of course, you'll be given a position in this new world, if you desire, young Ethan. How about you marry my sister and become my third in command."

I ignored the 'marry my sister' part and asked, "third? Why so high up?"

"Because, frankly, you'll be assisted by several more qualified people, like the Zachs and our dear friend Taki. Neil is my second."

Neil gave a mock bow.

So the future ruler of all mankind and his second in command went back to doing homework. I just smiled and left.

Pretty much the same thing happened again. I found a good spot to play my violin--this time it was the roof--and, not long after I had begun, the hollow sounds of the Second Violin drifted across the grounds. This time, I was sure it was closer. I longed to put down my instrument and search for him, but I was afraid that he would leave before I found him.

But then the playing got closer, and I was sure that this Second Violin was on the roof. I turned, and I caught sight of the silhouette of a figure, standing with their back to me. I must have stopped playing, because he dashed away when the music stopped. Darn it. I thought, not quite swearing. I really want to know who he is.

Then I went to breakfast. Neil wasn't there.

Later, I stopped by the library. There was a dark haired boy typing away on a nearby computer, and I had the distinct impression that he was a computer geek.

"Hey." I said to him. "Do you know Java?" It's a great question to find out how nerdy someone is.

"Yeah." The boy replied. "And Python."

Ha. I thought. I was right. I then asked him if he could hack into the student records (you needed a password from a teacher) so I could check something.

This boy--called Wil--did so. He was pretty good, and I searched the list of students who play the violin. Lakewood had tons of information like that in its data. The list contained about fifty students. That sucked. I was hoping that there wouldn't be too many, that I could figure out who the Second Violin was just by the process of elimination.

The mystery of his identity still remains....

Nightmares do funny things to the brain. They make every sound turn into a monster, every shadow hold your greatest fear, and, when you wake up, drenched in cold sweat, you really want nothing more than a hot shower and somebody to hold you.

I can't tell you the exact contents of my dream, only that it was really scary and contained Evan talking to Lord Voldemort and Cecelia dating Adam. And then there were the aliens from Signs and the whisper people from Knowing. (I hate those stupid aliens from Signs. They are so freaking scary. After I watched it, I had to have someone wait outside my room before I fell asleep every night for a week, and I touched every wall of every room to make sure there wasn't an alien on it.)

So I woke up, my heart beating fast like I had been running, my face drenched in cold sweat. I wiped tears from my eyes. This dream was even scarier than Signs.

"Shhhhh." Neil pressed a washcloth to my forehead. "Go back to sleep."

In my half awake state, I considered marrying that man. Only Neil would be so sweet. I was really glad that he was my roommate. I lifted a hand to take the washcloth from him, but, with clumsy just-awake muscles, I ended up with my hand on top of his. Then I forgot what I was trying to do and fell back asleep. This time, only pleasant dreams ambled through my mind.

I woke up a second time in the morning. I sat up and realized that Neil wasn't in his bed. I looked around. Did he fall off? And there he was, sleeping with his head on my spare pillow, sitting on the floor and leaning against my bed. For a moment, I wondered why, but then I saw that my hand, which had so carelessly fallen on his during the night, held his fingers tightly.

I removed my hand quickly and left the room with my violin. Things would be pretty awkward when he awoke.

A note on eighth period.

It's French class. If you want to be technical, I speak fluent French, but it's one of the requirements for scholarship students. They each have to spend their off period helping another teacher. So I help Madame Macy, the French I teacher.

Mme Macy might have been a spy in her youth. She's spent years in Africa--Burkina Faso, if you want to be specific--and she broke her leg jumping out of a helicopter. She speaks like 20 languages, is afraid of Cheerios and left turns, and rides her orange bike to Lakewood from the town ten miles away every day. She's probably the weirdest person I know.

I usually spend the class doing homework, but today, since I was still recovering from the kissing conversation/bullying, I actually helped by stamping papers, grading worksheets, and even by reading some of the phrases out loud so I could help people with their pronunciation.

The only one of my friends in French I is Alex. We sometimes just talk. Today, we did work.

OK, note over. Signing off.

So Saturday is the big dance. All the girls from Saint Catherine's come over and we, well, dance. By that time, Xoi should be attending Saint Catherine's, and she begged me to go. Normally, I wouldn't even consider it--dancing with girls is not my thing--but a friend's got to do what a friend has got to do.

Adam and the Four Lords spent Tuesday's club meeting playing video games. I was getting pretty good too.

Later yesterday evening, Hans and Frans confronted Neil and me in the common room. Edmund was studying at the next table, and Taki was pretending to work. They sat down on one of the squishy couches.

"The other day," Hans began.

"We were making out with some German girls." Frans finished.

"They were twins." Hans added.

If I didn't look extremely awkward, then I hid it well.

"Well, over the break I had ample time to flirt with wealthy young women." Edmund replied, looking up from his work. "Though I'd have rather seen that maid again."

"Do tell." The twins said concurrently.

I had to censor the story out. Edmund had omitted no details.

Then Taki told a story about one of his past female friends, and Neil talked about a girl who had been head over heels for him. (Not surprising, because he has great abs.) Then they all turned to me.

"So, Ethan..." Hans began, a cruel smile on his lips.

Frans continued, "Have you ever kissed a girl?"

I felt myself blush. The twins exchanged looks that made them resemble a two headed snake.

"I don't think he has." Frans said mockingly.

"Neither do I." Hans replied in the same tone. He pulled out a cell phone and handed it to his brother.

Frans dialed a number from memory and spoke into the receiver. "We have a problem, sweetheart." He said to the person on the other end. "I have a friend here with virgin lips. Could you do us a favor and send a girl over to--"

"I do not have virgin lips." I argued.

Frans hit the end button. "Really?"

Now I was busted. I couldn't very well tell them that my 'kiss virginity' had been taken by a guy. I wasn't gay or anything.

"Have you kissed somebody?" Neil stretched his hands over his head, like he was tired. "Or are you lying to us?"

Damn him. I thought. "Sure, I have." I said aloud. "Loads of times."

"Well, then." Edmund said. "You must be an expert on it."

"Pretty much." I lied. "I'm a great kisser."

Evil smiles widened around me. Oh no. I thought. I considered hiding in a ditch until I died, but then the bell rang, saving me quite literally. I breathed a sigh of relief and skipped the next period.

I walked into room 222, looking for Damian, but it was empty, except for Adam, sitting on his throne-chair with his back to the door. He was talking on the phone, and I tried to sneak past him to find a spare uniform from the storage room, but what he was saying caught my attention.

"Yes, of course I'd support your transfer to Lakewood." He said. "Many students here are famous, and we have state of the art security systems. I'm sure you'd feel welcome if you attended, Evan."

I took a step back in shock. "Not Him." I whispered.

"Oh, little Ethan." Adam gestured toward me. "This is our new student on the phone, Evan, you know, the lead singer and guitarist for Amethyst Drive."

Not Him. I repeated mentally. Not Him. But I didn't have time to think for long, because Taki poked his head in the room and announced, as if it was the end of the world, that his Onii-sama was here.

Taki had a sundress picked out for me to wear, and I changed into it, put on a wig, and touched up some of my features with the little makeup he had stolen from his sister. I emerged, looking, once again, like a girl.

Takashi, Taki's older brother, looked a lot like Taki, but without the dyed hair and contacts. His dark hair was spiked like a mohawk and he was tall and thin. He wore a slightly feminine striped jacket.

"Yo." Takashi said. "Is this your girlfriend?" He asked Taki.

"Yes." Taki replied nervously.

"Ok, lets go." Takashi turned around, gesturing to a little girl.

"OK, Onii-sama." She said, standing up from her chalk drawing and following her older brother.

They left in a car driven by a brunette. "Is that his girlfriend?" I asked Taki softly.

"No." He replied. "But they'll probably get married."

I wonder how that works. I thought. "That was pretty painless." I said. "From what you were acting like, I thought your brother was crazy and evil."

"You never know he he will react." Taki said, warning in his voice. "He might be insane."

I dressed in my uniform, once again a sheep in wolves clothing.

At dawn, I gave up trying to sleep and, careful not to wake Neil, grabbed my violin and left. During my wanderings to find a suitable place to play, I ran into the Zachs.

Two of the Zachs were sleeping in the comfy armchairs in the library, while the other read from a thick book. "Morning, Zach." I greeted.

"Good morning, Ethan." He replied.

"What are you doing up so early?"

"One of us is always awake." Zach said expressionlessly. "We sleep in shifts."

I left the Zachs and their queerness and found a courtyard that seemed not to be used, because everything was half overgrown with weeds and the roses where practically wild. I took out my violin and began to play.

I had a bunch of songs memorized. It comes with the hours of practice and a strict teacher, I think. I went over some Mozart, fully wakening myself with the playful notes. Then I moved on to Bach (I love that dead guy.)

I knew a lot of violin duets, because I used to preform with my brother, who would adapt the second violin part, so he could play it with his cello. I went over of of these now, painfully aware of the lack of harmony, until....(now, this is creepy, guys)...until I heard it.

This violin sounded as if it was being played in the distance, not very close, but its somber notes hung in the air next to mine. I didn't stop playing, enjoying--but a little creeped out by--the Second Violin.

As if finding my music suddenly accompanied wasn't enough, I found Taki looking frantic when I returned to the dorm building. "What's wrong?" I asked. It was weird of him to get up so early.

Taki then prostrated himself at my feet. "Please, please, be my girlfriend."

I took a step back. Did he know my secret?

Taki continued. "My onii-sama ((that's lord big brother in Japanese, I think.)) is coming, and I told him that I had a girlfriend from Saint Catherine's. Takashi can't find out that I lied to him. Please, Ethan. You're the only guy I know that looks enough like a girl to fool Onii-sama."

"You sure know how to complement someone." I mumbled. "I'll help you." I told him, sticking out a hand to help him up. "When's Takashi coming?"

"Before noon." Taki said, getting to his feet. "I need you to get a Saint Catherine's uniform too. Can you do it?"

I thought instantly of Damian. He was likely to have one. I'd just borrow it from him. The trick, now, was getting him to lend it to me.

So I started my weird day back at Lakewood Academy.

He stood on the stage, lights shining around Him like the star He was. He held His hand up, waving to the audience, who screamed and applauded. He pushed some of His shaggy blond hair from His eyes, and looked back at His band for support. Then He smiled and addressed the audience.

"That was Alabaster Sunset. I hope that you all enjoyed it."

Screams and shouts of "Yes!" were their response.

"It's actually based off a story of a girl I know." He looked to the side of the stage, where I stood, watching Him. "She's pretty convinced that I'm in love with her, even though nobody could ever like a pathetic, ugly girl like her. I've been going out with her for a month or so now. What should I do with her?"

Shouts of "Dump her!" and "Go out with me!" punctuated the air in the stadium.

A strange mixture of sadness and fury welled inside of me. I picked up the nearest object--an extra stage light--and hurled it at Him, tears in my eyes.

Blue glass shattered on the stage as the two other band members jumped out of the way. He just looked vaguely amused. I picked up another light, stepping onto the stage so I could get a better shot at him.

"See?" He said to the crowd. "She's deathly pale, with no sense of style. Just look at what She's wearing."

"I hate you!" I yelled, chucking the light at him. It missed. "I hate you." Tears streamed down my face. "I hate you!" I repeated a third time before I realized that I was awake, and the whole scene with Him had just been a dream.

"Ethan, Ethan." A calm voice spoke my fake name. "It's OK." Cool hands held a damp wash cloth to my face, wiping away cold sweat and tears. "Everything will be alright."

I let out a whimper and put my hands in front of my face, trying to stop my worst experience from replaying over and over again behind my eyes. "I hate you." I told Him, as if I could from the distance, but my voice was soft, feeble, and more like a plea for forgiveness than a declaration of loathing.

"Ethan." Neil took my hands from my face. "It was just a nightmare. You'll be better now."

I sat up, and found that my roommate sat on the edge of my bed, holding a washcloth and a glass of water, which he handed to me. I drank deeply, put the cup on my nightstand, and looked up at Neil with eyes still brimming with tears. "Thank you." I said gratefully.

Neil shrugged as if to say it was nothing and got up. "You should really stop talking in your sleep."

"I'll try to remember that next time I find myself in another bad dream." I replied sarcastically.

Neil ignored my and climbed into his own bed. Within seconds, the stupid boy was asleep, while I laid awake for a long while, the sweetly sad melody of Alabaster Sunset playing like a broken record player whose volume knob had been broken off my neighborhood boys, and wouldn't go any softer then "very loud."

There was definitely an end-of-break gloom in the air this morning when I woke up. My friends were all back at school, and I was pretty tired from our Facebook style party last night. Alex and I went to breakfast at Perkins, and Butterfly accompanied us, but said so little that I practically forgot that he was there. Several hours later, I boarded a plane back to Lakewood.

You know, how in airplanes, you really hope that you're not sitting next to the fattest, smelliest person airborne? Well, it was just my luck, when I looked at my ticket, that I had the window seat, and the person next to me would have been the fattest man I had ever seen (except for on The Biggest Loser) if Damian wasn't taking the same plane. Since I knew him well enough to assume that he's be spending most of his time in the first class bathrooms with a pretty girl, I peeked though the curtains dividing the first class from the rest of the plane. Sure enough, ten minutes into the flight, he disappeared, and I took his spot. I didn't have to move back until the pilot called everyone back to their seats for the landing.

Neil was in our dorm when I returned, looking slightly more tanned and skimming though Things Fall Apart for English class. "Hey." He said when I came in.

"Hey." I replied. "How was the business trip?"

"Nice. My father rented a yhat. What did you do?"

"Nothing much. I just concocted an amazing plan, hung out at the mall, and ran into my worst enemy."

"Sounds like fun." Neil put down the book. "Edmund and the Zacks will be returning later tonight. Hans and Frans's flight doesn't get in till ten tomorrow."

I put my stuff down on my bed. "I've got to make a call. I'm going into the hall." And I grabbed my phone and left.

I called Xoi. After initial greetings, our conversation went something like this.

Xoi: So, should we initiate the plan?
Me: Affirmative.
Xoi: Today?
Me: Correct.
Xoi: And what if she says no?
Me: Then we use plan B.
Xoi: Plan B?
Me: I bribe Damian.
Xoi: How are you going to do that without, you know, offering your body?
Me: I'll think of something. But, remember, Saint Catherine's Academy is the sister school to Lakewood. If you can get in, you can come to Lakewood's dances.
Xoi: I'll get in, don't worry.
Me: Alright. Set plan A into motion tonight.
Xoi: Alright, HQ.
Me: You know, we really sound like we're spies.
Xoi: Maybe we are?
Me: Are you admitting to being a spy?
Xoi: If I told you that, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you.

We said our good-byes and hung up. With any luck I'd have an ally at Saint Catherine's, and, if nothing else, I'd have a friend who knows my secret close at hand.

When I came back into the room, His song was playing from Neil's speakers. I turned them off.

"Ethan?" Neil asked. "Are you OK?"

"Just don't play that song." I replied. "I can't stand it."

Neil looked at the back of the CD. "Alabaster Sunset?" He named the song.

"Yeah." I held back the venom from my voice. "I hate it."

"Why? Its got a good story about a girl who gives up everything for a guy that doesn't even like her and ends up betraying her."

"That's why." I said harshly and laid out on my bed. "I'm going to sleep."

Neil shrugged, and I felt really bad about taking out my anger on him. He--as in He--was the only one I wanted to hurt.

I ran into Him at the library. Yadi, Xoi, and Alli went there to visit Reily, who volunteered there on the weekends. It was strangely crowded, and we went up the stairs marked "authorized personnel only," positioned right at the entrance. Reily was shelving books.

A bit about Reily.

She's abnormally skinny, but she eats food, so I know she's not anorexic. Her mother is the funsucker of all funsuckers, and she rarely is allowed to do things outside of school, besides her volunteering. Reily is the baddest one in our group and swears more than all of us combined.

"You have one major, F---in' problem." She said to me. "Guess who is downstairs, signing autographs?"

"I have a feeling that I'm not going to like this." I said.

"You're right." Reily finished with the books. "It's Him."

Yadi gasped. Allie looked town between hatred and longing. I said some choice words directed at Him.

"OK, I'm going to go kill him." I said calmly. "Somebody get me a knife." When nobody moved, I said, "Alright then, I'll just kill him with my bare hands. It's better this way; it's more personal."

Alright, I have to tell a little bit about Him, because normally, I'm not this violent. He is currently the resident celebrity of Borningsville. Ever since he joined a band in the city about fifty miles away, he's been made famous, if not rich. He was my childhood friend, first love, and former boyfriend. He was also the man who broke my heart.

*nervous giggle* But we're not talking about that, are we now?

"You can't kill him." Yadi said calmly, ever the good little church girl. "You should forgive him and move on."

"I did move on. I swear I did." I replied. "I went as far away as possible from that guy. I have tried to forget Him, but the bastard keeps showing up and talking to me like nothing ever happened. And then I get this feeling, and I just want to carve that little smile off his lips." My hands were in fists so tight that my fingernails dug painfully into my palms.

"From the deepest love springs the greatest hate." Yadi said remorsefully.

"There's a fine line between love and hate." Xoi quoted.

"I'm going to kill him." I repeated, ignoring them. I turned on my heel and marched to the door of the "authorized personnel only" stairs. I threw it open, and saw, too my horror, that He stood just two stairs from the top.

A very long moment passed during which I glared and He smiled.

"Hey Nathi." He used my nickname from our childhood. "Long time no see."

"Get out of my way." I muttered and pushed passed him. I left the library and sat on one of the iron benches, oddly glad that I had seen Him and wishing He was dead.


My friends came out a little while later, and I saw Yadi tucking a signed CD into her purse. I ignored it. "What took you so long?" I asked.

"He was questioning us." Reily said. "Stuff like 'do you girls still capitalize pronouns in reference to me?' and 'have you bought all my CDs' and 'where has Nathi been?'"

"You didn't tell him, did you?" I asked.

"Um..." Allie said. "Maybe."

I felt a strong desire to kick something. "So he knows that I go to Lakewood?" I felt that sick feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. "Damn him."