Things you learn from a boys' school (abridged)

1. Shower every day (I guess not all of the guys are getting this one. Listen, guys, no matter how fun you might think it is, it is so not cool to smell like you have spent a week in the desert.)

2. Don't talk about money (At least, if you're not rich, don't talk about it. If you even mention your paycheck from Barnes and Noble, all the rich kids (everyone) will die from laughter.)

3. Don't pee in Mountain Dew bottles and give them to people to drink

4. Never go to your friends' rooms in the middle of the night to watch movies. You never know what it will really be.

5. When girls show up looking for a certain person, do not send them off in the opposite direction.

6. When parents show up looking for a certain person, do not send them off in the opposite direction.

7. When someone who looks rich and important shows up, it is best to assume that they are.

8. Don't question the fried rice.

9. Never give your so-called friends your address.

10. Beware the eides of March

11. Remember my motto: Rich kids are insane

12. Make sure you have a gay friend to talk with.

13. Do not trust masked men.

14. Do not trust boys that look like angels especially if they're rich.

15. Unlike chocolate and coffee, teenage boys are not better rich.

16. Speed limits do not always apply to rich kids.

17. Brush up on your DragonBall Z knowledge.

18. Know that it is healthy to skip class once and a while.

19. Beware your friends' little sisters.

20. Twilight discussions are a no-no

21. Don't do theater

22. Unless you have a high pain tolerance, do not play sports.

23. If at all possible, avoid gym class.

24. Stay away from womanizers, people with the same name, foreign cars, and gay teachers.

25. Dances are like hell.

26. Don't keep pets unless you can afford to buy other people's silence.

27. Have a handful of well practiced lies.

28. Cherish your free time.

29. Do not be fooled by a guy's looks. They're probably a sadist.

30. No matter how you try to avoid awkward situations, they will always find you.