At the top of the online newspaper article was a picture of Alex in drag, a photo of him accepting the prize for the Ladies Department in the costume gala. The words at the top read "ALEX PATTERSON'S GIRL PROBLEM."

I read the article. It went something like this:

Senate member, James Patterson's son has many problems. Not only does he spend his weekends romping around the nearest town to Lakewood Academy, the prestigious boarding school he attends, but he has gotten two speeding tickets and even managed to drop his pants in a local restaurant. Last week, he won the infamous "Ladies Department" in the school costume gala, where boys seem to forget their masculinity and dress like women.

"It would have been a pity for him not to enter." Classmate Aaron Thomas said. "I mean, he looks so much like a girl he gets hit on by guys all the time. If he hadn't entered, dorm 2 would have creamed everyone."

(Reminder: I belong to dorm 2, as does Neil and the rest of my close friends)

'Of course, he's gay.' XXX XXX said. (Again, I suffer from laziness.) 'Well, bi, I think, because he still likes girls.'

James Patterson is ardently against gay marriage and gay rights, and, within a week after his son competed in such a strange competition, his approval ratings dropped by four percent. Apparently, he had also been unaware of his owns son's sexuality, and refuses to allow such in his family.

"I had no idea that my son was behaving in such hedonistic atrocities." James Patterson said when confronted by this journalist. "He will not be going back to that school."

Alex seems to think differently. "I have to go back." He said. "I'm a member of the Four Lords. I can't just not go back. I have friends there."

The Four Lords, a club run by Adam Carter, heir to several franchises, is a small club where the cream of the crop of the upper class meet regularly and discuss important world events.

"We try to talk about philosophy too, every once in a while." Young Mr. Carter said. "But, since we know we're still just kids, we try to have some fun once and a while. We threw a great end of the year party and we often entertain important guests." (Was that really just Adam? I had to admire his lying skills.)

However important this club might be to the boy, Alex Patterson will not be attending next year. Dorm 3 will just have to find a new drag queen."

"That's horrible." I said when I had finished it.

"Tell me about it." Adam agreed. "I was even misquoted."