ADVENTURES AT THE BLAKE ESTATE PART TWO

After awhile, I did run into Neil at his house. He was in the second basement (because one basement isn't enough), in the middle of a spectacular hand-to-hand combat match with his father. It was like something out of the movies, it was so good, but then Neil looked over his shoulder at me and called a halt. "Ethan's here, I'm going." He told his father.

Bernard Blake, Neil's dad, looked up and saw me standing by the stairs. "Ethan." He cried happily. "Come here and let me give you a proper welcome."

Neil stepped between us. "Don't listen to anything that crazy old man says." He warned. "Let's go upstairs. Have you met my sister yet?"

I laughed. "Yeah. She seems to think I'm Tammuz, Ishtar's reincarnated lover."

Neil sighed. "What about Raymond? Have you met him?"

"I might have. Does he speak in bad poetry by any chance?"

"No. That would be Geoffrey. Ray is my little brother."

"And Geoffrey isn't?"

"No." Neil said, looking slightly embarrassed. "He's my uncle. My grandfather remarried after his first wife died. He's a year younger than me."

"Wow." Rich people's families are sure messed up.

"Have you run into Butterfly?" Neil asked, changing the subject. "He's here right now. So is Grandfather."

"The one that remarried?"

"Yeah." We were now in the kitchen, where a cook in white worked on some giant ham, presumably for lunch. "Are you hungry? Do you want any food?"

"I'm fine."

Neil speared a thick piece of ham with a silver fork and ate it. "Working out sure gives you an appetite."

We went upstairs to the third floor, where roughly ten bedrooms overlooked the grounds. Neil's was on the corner, and just as I was about to go in, Geoffrey, the bad poet, popped out of the next room. "O lovely maiden." He cried when he saw me. "Go not into that chamber. A man and a woman should never--"

"Ethan's a guy." Neil corrected him.

"Nephew, please desist." Geoffrey begged, grabbing Neil's hand dramatically. "This union will never be blessed. Desist at once and go thither to the church before you make such actions." He turned to me, dropping his nephew's hand. "Fair maiden, please. If this man seeks to take such beauty for himself, simply call upon me to protect you. I--"

"I'm a guy." I told him, again.

"No. No man can can be so womanly."

"Ethan goes to Lakewood." Neil saved me. "He's a guy."

"I cannot believe it." Geoffrey exclaimed. "Show me the proof."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really want proof that you're turning gay, or do want to fantasize a little longer?"

Geoffrey looked me up and down. "I'd like to fantasize." He replied and left, blushing.

"Well," Neil began. "Sorry about him. Want to come in?" He opened the door to show me a magnificently proportioned room. Then Ishtar jumped out from behind the four poster bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Neil asked as his beautiful sister as she collected several charms from around the room.

"I just want him to remember me." She said tearfully. "Tammuz, please come back to me."

Neil pointed to the open doorway. "Out."

Ishtar did as she was told, giving me a sad smile as she left.

"Sorry." Neil apologized. "I guess you're now scared for life."

"From your uncle, yes." I said. "But your sister is stunning." That's what a guy would say, right? No, it wasn't. "She's hot." I corrected myself.

Neil smiled. "Everyone says that. She looks just like my mother."

Right, Neil's dead mother. I didn't want to get onto such a depressing topic. It would make him uncomfortable. Tactlessly, I asked, "So, um, Neil, Do you like apples?"