The Pervert in the Closet and Other Tales of Terror and Suspense from Cecelia's House

In Cecelia's closet is a poster. She can't put it anywhere else: her mother won't let her hang it in a visible place. So in the closet it goes. Now the boy in the poster will always be looking down at her underwear.

When I still had long hair and when I wasn't a cross dresser, I stayed at Cecelia's house for a weekend, during which I had to shower the gross lake water off me. I had finished shampooing when I realized that there was no soap. I consequently spent twenty minutes in a towel trying to find soap because Cecelia couldn't, while her siblings looked on in horror.

Cecelia's little brother drove the boat. I was on it.

Adam. That's scary enough to be its own horror story.

Cecelia's little sister (age ten) has a dirtier mind than me.

I caught Butterfly speaking a full sentence. He told Raymond, "don't get hurt." Cecelia thought it was cute, and it reinforced her idea that they were real-life versions of Honey- and Mori-senpai. I dropped my fishing rod in shock and it floated away, only to be picked up by Adam. Both aspects of that story scared me.

Luckily, I was prepared for everything, even dressing like a guy. I dressed in my super-flattening, almost magical sports bra and boy's shorts, throwing on a loose tshirt. A "Freaketh Not" tshirt to be exact, but, whatever.

Cecelia's siblings asked why I looked like a boy. She told them to screw themselves and to call me Ethan.

After postponing it as long as I could, I went down to the dock to help, and, sure enough, after a short while, Adam showed up, leading a small flotilla of jet skis. Neil sat atop a royal blue one, and pulled up to the dock. "Hello, Ethan." Neil smiled beautifully.

"Hey." I said. Why was I blushing? "Why are there dragons on your jet ski?"

Neil looked embarrassing. "My father had them put on. They're for protection. He won't let me go out alone without them."

I laughed. "You're father's funny."

"I don't think so." Neil brushed his hand against the intricate black and white dragon along the jet ski's side.

"Hey, look," Someone waiting for their boat to be filled up shouted. "It's the dragon king."

Neil shook his head. "It's horrible." I laughed and looked up to find Sammi practically stripping for Adam, who was chatting with an annoyed Cecelia, who was standing with her back to me and hadn't seen Neil. On the other end of the dock, Butterfly was getting off a grey jet ski, white sketches of his namesake painted on the side. He held out his arms to Raymond, who looked absolutely adorable in his blue swim trunks and child size life jacket. "Ethan!" Ray exclaimed as Butterfly lifted him onto the dock. "Ethan!"

Butterfly nodded solemnly. He wore grey swim trunks and a life jacket of the same color. Now that I think about it, the only times I hadn't seen him wearing grey was when he wore his school uniform, and the red of the tie was the only "true" color I think he ever wore.

"Cecelia." I called. "Can you get Raymond a popsicle?"

Cecelia turned and ran into a pole. Everybody winced at the sound. Cecelia dropped to the ground, apparently unconscious.

"Cecelia!" I rushed to her side. "Wake up. You can't die. I don't know how to take care of your turtle."

"He gets a forth of a cube...everyday." Cecelia mumbled, as if she was dying.

"Shut up. Come back to me!"

"No, no." Cecelia seemed reassigned to the situation. "My life is a blonde moment, and its about to end. At least the last thing I saw was this amazingly hot guy."

"That would be my roommate." I told her.

Cecelia sat up quickly. "That's Neil?" She looked around, caught sight of Raymond, sucking on a blue popsicle, looking concernd. "Honey-senpai!" She shouted. "Oh my God, it's Honey-senpai!" She looked at Butterfly. "And Mori-senpai!"

"Cecelia." I began. "What did I tell you the other day? You can't reference animes unless the other people have seen them."

Adam came up from behind me and used my shoulder as an arm rest. "So what do you think of Poseidon's Warriors?"

"Adam." Neil began, now sipping a grape smoothie. "I told you. I refuse to be in any of you're stupid clubs."

"But Neil." Ray began, practically tearing up. "We would change the name to the Water Lillies if you want."

"Ray." Neil began, in his berating, big bother tone. "We already have a group member named Butterfly. We don't need a name that screams homosexuality."

I pushed Adam's arm off my shoulder. "What do you guys even do? Ride around on jet skis wreaking havoc?"

Adam paused a moment, as if thinking. "Yeah, I guess so. Less wreaking and more taking advantage of, but whatever you want to call it."

"Do you want to come with us, Ethan? You could ride with Neil."

"No, thanks." I said. Ray's smile dropped like a two ton brick, but I couldn't risk getting soaked and revealing my true identity by my girlish figure.

"But...but Ethan." Ray was near tears. "I-I want you to come."

"I'm sorry."

Ray was crying now. Big, fat tears streaked down his face, making the popsicle stains run down his chin. "But-but--" He hiccuped.

Butterfly wrapped the crying child in his arms and lifted him into his arms as if Ray was a bride. Then he set him on the jet ski, wiping off tears from under Ray's eyes with his thumb.

"This is so sweet." Cecelia whispered to me.

"I know."

"Are they gay?"

"I don't think so. I think this is just a really intimate scene for two straight guys."

Quite an eventful day, I must say. After working on her gas dock in the sweltering, yet still mid-morning heat, Cecelia and I decided to screw work and go swimming. I sent her little sister to get my swimsuit, telling her it was right on top of my stuff. She returned, just as Adam's speedboat pulled up to the dock, holding my polka dotted bra and waving it like it was some fourth of July flag.

"I couldn't find the bottoms." She said, handing it to me energetically. "But I think it really cute."

I tried to cover my blush, but it wasn't happening. I hastily took it from her. Adam stared.

"What? You're never seen a bra before?" Sammi flirted and began to take off her own shirt.

"What a whore." Cecelia muttered under her breath.

"When you put your eyes back in their sockets, Adam," I began, "can I ask you what the hell you're here?"

Adam grinned. "I needed gas."

Cecelia's younger brother began to tie his boat up in response. Adam gave him a fatherly smile. "You know, Devin, you're a good kid."

"How do you two know each other?" I asked, looking from one to the other.

"Devin graciously told me where you were last night." Adam said. Devin nodded agreement, whipping out several hundred dollar bills from his pocket. God, that bastard could buy everything.

I ended up leaving Cecelia's and her siblings to Adam's mercy to return my bra and get my swimsuit. When I returned, Adam was talking on his cell phone, Sammi was looking like a slut, and Cecelia's two younger siblings looked on happily with money clenched in their fists. Cecelia rolled her eyes at me in the direction of Sammi, now trying to flirt with Adam even though he was on the phone.

"But you're birthday isn't for another month." Adam was saying. "And I know you have a place here, so its not like you don't have anywhere to stay." A pause. "You can bring your brother. Butterfly too." Another pause. "Whatever. Ethan is here. He's staying with some friend." After the goodbyes, Adam looked up at me. "I hope you're prepared, little Ethan. Neil will be here tomorrow."

Today, I left for Cecelia's. After many, many hours in the car with her mother, her cat, and Cecelia herself, we arrived, singing a combination of Backstreet Boys and hard rock. Her cat didn't throw up until about five minutes from her house, and I presented her family with a giant watermelon, hopefully proving that I wasn't a total freeloader.

Around nine o' clock, we took the boat to a restaurant and bar off the lake for dinner. And, while we're on the subject, I love boats. I love the way the sea (a lake really, but let's call it a sea) and the sky meet, and you hover between the two like an indecisive wave. I often found myself lifting my arms out, like I was flying, just to feel the thrill when we rose over the big waves. I didn't want it to end.

We ate, except Cecelia's cousin, Sammi, a seventeen year old girl, was moody and refused to eat. Maybe she decided to go anorexic or something, but there was no way it had been going on for long. Sammi definitely had some poundage. Anyway, Cecelia's mom had a few drinks, and Sammi was annoying the life force out of everyone. I was ready to leave, sick of the bad singer in the back and the mingled smell of smoke and beer, when the music stopped and silence fell.

I looked up. Adam.

I controlled my urge to cuss him out--he was ruining my precious time with my best friend!--and consented myself with ignoring him, until he came right up to out table and ruffled my hair. "This place is dirty, even for you as a commoner." He said into my ear. Now that the singing guitarist was back in action, he practically had to shout to be heard.

Sammi almost screamed with excitement at the sight of him. She giggled. Cecelia mumbled "stupid slut" under her breath.

I pretended that I hadn't heard Adam, but stood up. "I'll take care of this." I told Cecelia's family, and dragged him by the arm onto the dock where all the people eating kept their boats.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I shouted. "How did you even find out I was here?"

Adam gave a coy little smile. "People are easily bought."

I rolled my eyes. "You can't buy everything with money, Adam. One day, you're going to realize it, and you'll find that you're all alone without a wad of cash in your pocket."

"Actually, I almost always use credit cards."

Adam was called away, and we finished dinner in peace. We were on the way home, in the middle of the lake, when the boat died.

"This sucks." Cecelia said.

"Tell me something I don't know." I replied.

"I want to throw my stupid cousin overboard."

"I knew that already."

Cecelia's parents were debating if they should call the boat patrol and risk getting into trouble for not having enough life vests on board or calling one of their friends, but they never had to make the decision. Adam's yacht pulled up gracefully beside ours and he offered to tow us back. Cecelia's parents conveniently forgot that they didn't like this boy, or maybe they couldn't remember him from last time. So Adam's driver ended up taking us all the way back to C's house. I couldn't believe it, but sometimes that bastard did something nice for a change.

After the dead boat was fully secured and everyone else had gone to the house--Sammi reluctantly, for Adam was just to sexy in a swimsuit--Cecelia, Adam, and I stood on the dock, staring at each other.

"I can't believe you helped me." I told him.

A smile flickered onto Adam's face. "I expect compensation."

My hands flew to my pockets, which were completely devoid of money. "Sorry, I haven't got anything on me right now, I'll pay you back later..." I trailed off. Adam was still smiling slightly.

"All the money in your bank account couldn't cover my daily allowance." He laughed. "You can pay be back with your body."

"Hang on," Cecelia interrupted. "Are you hitting on my best friend? Are you asking me to go Naruto on your pretty boy ass?"

"Cecelia." I scolded. "You can't reference TV shows that someone hasn't seen if you want them to get the joke." I turned to Adam. "Do you know what you just said?"

Adam hesitated, then stepped onto his yacht. "Never mind. Just forget it."

I watched him speed away before we went up to the house, where I was bombarded by Sammi, asking all sorts of questions about Adam. I told her that he was a sadist.

"What does that mean? That he's sad all the time?"

Today at work, I heard it. Once, the dulcet tones of that guitar rang deep in my bones, and the pianist's fingers, dancing across the electric keyboard, were like a well remembered dream. It was none other than Amethyst Drive, and their new song played across the radio.

A bit about the band, before I continue.

They were a sweet bunch, all but Evan, but let's not go there. They all had cool "band names" and were exceptionally good looking. Hades, the slightly nerdy keyboardist, was like the big brother I never had (well, I really did have an older brother, but that's beside the point.) Lucifer, the bassist, had dark hair long enough to braid, and Reaper, the drummer, was one who would sacrifice his entire being for the sake of another. And then there's Hartbreaker, who was none other than my ex-boyfriend.

The song was called "Only Air," and topped the rock charts for a week. I had heard about it on the radio, but I always switched the station, boycotting the bastard. Unfortunately, Adam decided that this was a good song, and, reluctantly, I had to agree, and the station remained, Evan's voice and guitar sounding like it came from Mount Olympus.

"You reach out your hand, for someone to take."

I wiped off a table. Did Evan really write these songs? The lyrics were too good.

"And yet you realize it comes too late."

I tried to block it out, but the repetitions of "Holding only air" got stuck in my head more easily that Christmas carols.

I handed in my resignation papers in the middle of it. I just couldn't stand the though of listening to Evan one more time. Adam laughed, and told me, "I'll see you tomorrow."

I haven't posted for a while, so this is sort of a summary post.

Thursday, when Grandma and Patrick's grandpa went to bingo, we had a semi-romantic, sort-of date, during which we ate ice cream and played mancala until we realized that the grandparents hadn't really gone to bingo and were spying on us from outside the door, their wrinkled ears pressed against the wall as if they were little kids. That was the end to the semi-romantic date.

Friday, when I was working, Patrick came to apologize for his grandfather's actions. I told him it was OK and I had fun anyway. Adam then interupted us by telling me to get back to work or I was fired. Then he exercised his "Alpha Male" dominance over Patrick before going back to his hoard of simpering girls.

Saturday, when I was watering my bonsai on Grandma's balcony, a bird decided to dispose of its waste onto my beloved plant. I spent half an hour gently cleaning the leaves, then took it down to the beach for some more sun. (The condominium shaded it at this time of day.) Adam's sheep, Tiberius and Genghis Khan, ate it. Bonsai just can't stand up to rampant sheep.

Sunday, Adam presented me with an apology bonsai. I told him to leave, that my dear tree couldn't be replaced by any other random plant. He informed me that this particular tree was grown from clipping from the emperor's own gardens and had been expertly trained for over twenty years to become the plant it was today. After that, I had no choice but to forgive him and accept the gift.

Next week I will be leaving on Friday for Cecelia's. I can hardly wait, but I think I'll miss Patrick and even LuLu, who was surprisingly a very nice person. I do not think I will miss Adam.

Today, I got my first proposal for marriage. This is how it went.

I was working when the hostess, a girl called LuLu, (yeah, the second L is capitalized, for some weird reason) sat down a family at one of my tables. Seemed normal, right? Well, it wasn't. Apparently, the little boy (I guessed his age around seven or eight) didn't want a children's menu and told me very politely that he ate off the adult menu.

"Of course. I'll get you one." I hurried off to get him the other menu.

I told LuLu when I was up front and she laughed. "That little like boy? He's like the size of like my five year old sister."

I ignored her and brought the boy his menu. "Thank you." He said.

"Just trying to be of service." I said, wrote my name on the paper tablecloth. "I'm Nathalie and I'll be your waitress tonight. What can I get you to drink?"

"You wrote Ethan." The boy pointed out.

"Right. Oops." I scribbled it out and wrote my real name. "Ethan is my pen name."

"You write?"

"Yeah."

"Novels?"

"Mostly plays and short stories. Nothing that serious." I lied. Well, sometimes I wrote, but those times had become few and far between since I started at Lakewood.

"So does Simon ." The mother nodded in the direction of the boy.

"Mother. Don't embarrass me further."

"But, honey, your play won you that scholarship. You should be proud of yourself."

"Mother. I would greatly appreciate it if you didn't mention that to me ever again."

"Why?"

"I hate it. The sappy romance, the weak verbs, the total lack of conviction in the characters. It's pathetic."

"The judges didn't think so."

Eventually, they ordered. I don't usually write about the people I'm waiting on, but the family was very nice. There were two girls who were twins but looked nothing alike, and, according to the snippets of conversation I heard, the mother had written an opera. Indeed, the little boy, Simon, did eat a lot, and I wondered if he was going through a growth spurt or something.

As I brought their food, one of the twins was talking about her flute recital and the other was telling her father about the her English class, which, like ours, had had a thrilling sword fight in the first scene of Romeo and Juliet. They're English teacher sounded almost as cool as mine had been.

During desert, I tripped, sending Simon's sunday flying into his shirt. I held back a curse, not wanting to soil his young and innocent ears, and apologized so profusely that Adam yelled across the restaurant for me to get back to work or I'd be fired. Then he told me to take him to the bathroom and help clean him off.

And I did. For a long while, we stood poised in front of the doors to both the men's and the woman's restroom. What to do...what to do...Sure, I'd been in the boy's bathroom so many times I couldn't count, but Simon knew I was a girl. And he was a little kid, so would it be okay for him to go into the ladies side?

"This way." Simon said, pushing open the door to the men's room.

I cleaned him off the best I could with paper towels, hoping that his mother's washer worked wonders. All that chocolate and strawberry sauce....

"Nathalie, do you have a boyfriend?" Simon asked.

"No." I replied, scrubbing a tough looking chocolate stain.

"Will you marry me then?"

All I could think to say was "Why me?"

"Frankly, I don't know why." (God, this little kid spoke like a grown-up) "But your unnatural blend of masculine and feminine qualities makes you probably the most interesting person I have ever encountered. You refuse to act ditsy and gossip, and you have no qualms about going into the men's restroom, but you are most definitely a girl. How might I go about making you fall in love with me?"

"Come back when you grow up a little." I told him, not sure what else to say to that. Had he complemented or insulted me?

We left the bathroom and Simon returned to his table. I begged one of my coworkers to take their check, but he wouldn't budge from his own work. So I finished my work with them and, when they were just about to go, I saw Simon talking with Adam. Nothing good would come from that.

They left. I hurried over to Adam and asked what Simon had been talking to him about. "You know Simon?" Adam asked. "I guess you must. Scholarship student have got to stick together."

"You don't mean that--"

"That Simon is going to Lakewood next year. He'll be a sophomore, just like you."

At the top of the online newspaper article was a picture of Alex in drag, a photo of him accepting the prize for the Ladies Department in the costume gala. The words at the top read "ALEX PATTERSON'S GIRL PROBLEM."

I read the article. It went something like this:

Senate member, James Patterson's son has many problems. Not only does he spend his weekends romping around the nearest town to Lakewood Academy, the prestigious boarding school he attends, but he has gotten two speeding tickets and even managed to drop his pants in a local restaurant. Last week, he won the infamous "Ladies Department" in the school costume gala, where boys seem to forget their masculinity and dress like women.

"It would have been a pity for him not to enter." Classmate Aaron Thomas said. "I mean, he looks so much like a girl he gets hit on by guys all the time. If he hadn't entered, dorm 2 would have creamed everyone."

(Reminder: I belong to dorm 2, as does Neil and the rest of my close friends)

'Of course, he's gay.' XXX XXX said. (Again, I suffer from laziness.) 'Well, bi, I think, because he still likes girls.'

James Patterson is ardently against gay marriage and gay rights, and, within a week after his son competed in such a strange competition, his approval ratings dropped by four percent. Apparently, he had also been unaware of his owns son's sexuality, and refuses to allow such in his family.

"I had no idea that my son was behaving in such hedonistic atrocities." James Patterson said when confronted by this journalist. "He will not be going back to that school."

Alex seems to think differently. "I have to go back." He said. "I'm a member of the Four Lords. I can't just not go back. I have friends there."

The Four Lords, a club run by Adam Carter, heir to several franchises, is a small club where the cream of the crop of the upper class meet regularly and discuss important world events.

"We try to talk about philosophy too, every once in a while." Young Mr. Carter said. "But, since we know we're still just kids, we try to have some fun once and a while. We threw a great end of the year party and we often entertain important guests." (Was that really just Adam? I had to admire his lying skills.)

However important this club might be to the boy, Alex Patterson will not be attending next year. Dorm 3 will just have to find a new drag queen."

"That's horrible." I said when I had finished it.

"Tell me about it." Adam agreed. "I was even misquoted."

I worked last night at Adam's father's restaurant. It wasn't too much work, but Adam, who sat in one of the corners with his laptop and stacks of papers (I was pretty sure he was only pretending to work) caught the attention of many of the passing girls. Several asked if they could be moved to a table closer to him, for the "view." I complied, since the tables around him weren't mine to wait on, and I'm pretty sure my co-worker, a collage age guy, wasn't against serving lots of girls.

"Whatcha doing?" A pretty girl said to Adam, attempting to talk to him, maybe a get a chance to slip him her number.

"Deciding who out of new freshmen will be asked to join the Four Lords." Adam sighed and the girl looked confused. "It's quite hard, since I've whittled the numbers down from twenty-something to seventeen." He rand a hand through his golden hair.

"Can I help you?" The girl asked.

"Me too." Said her friend. "I want to help too."

"So do I." Girls from the closest tables were scrambling to assist the boy who only looked like an angel.

"Let me."

"I'd love to help."

"Please."

Adam waved them all away. "Ethan, come here."

I walked through the now-seething mass of girls to his side. "What do you want?" I asked rudely. "I have work to do."

Adam turned his laptop so it faced me. "If you had to pick either one of these for the Four Lords, who would it be?" On the screen, two pictures popped up, one of a beautiful blond boy and of...

"Geoffrey?"

"Alright then. Geoffrey it will be."

"No." I almost shouted. "Not only will adding Geoffrey to the Four Lords lower their coolness factor by at least a hundred points, but I don't think I can spend an hour every weeknight and some weekends with a boy who only speaks in poetry."

"Alright. No Geoffrey." Adam clicked something else. "How about of these two?"

"The guy on the left has braces. No way."

"But they're diamond studded."

"Still, braces are not cool." Then I stopped myself. "Am I really telling you what's cool or not? Are you teasing me or something?"

Adam cracked a wicked grin. "Of course not, Nathi."

"Hey, that name is only for my friends to use." I said coolly. "Stop using it."

"What? Nathi?"

I nodded.

"Alright, but then you better start calling me 'master' again."

I considered "accidentally" spilling something on that expensive laptop, but thought better of it. If I lost my job here, I might not be able to get another where I could be gone for a week with very little notice and not get fired. Adam actually comes in useful sometimes.

"How about you just make me an official member of the Four Lords and then you don't have to worry about this?" I told him.

"I'm sorry, Nathi, but, in order to be a true member, you have to not be poor. Anyway, there would still be an opening, because Alex isn't coming back."

"Oh, yeah." I said sadly. "I never did figure out why."

Adam chuckled. "Do you ever read the newspaper?" And, after a few clicks with his wireless mouse, Adam turned the laptop toward me and I read the story.

NEXT TIME: THE REASONS WHY ALEX CAN'T COME BACK

There was a meth bust in Grandma's condo building. Allow me to elaborate.

So Grandma and I were talking on the balcony, during one of her times where she was acting like a normal grandmother, when we heard an explosion from the condo next door. She proceeded to whip out her cell phone and dialed for the police.

"My neighbor has a meth lab." She told someone on the other end. "I'm in room XXX of XXX condo building." (I was too lazy to make up fake numbers and names. Sorry)

I grabbed my grandmother's cell phone and closed it with a snap. "Just because there's an explosion doesn't mean there's a meth lab. I'm not even sure there are explosions in meth labs. It was probably some amateur chemist trying to make a nuclear bomb."

But Grandma was right, and, when the police showed up with badges a-gleaming and tazers at the ready, it turned out that the neighbor was really one of the biggest meth dealers in this area of Florida. The whole friggin' condo was devoted to the plant. The police took me, as a law abiding youngling, on a tour in hopes that I never grow my own meth. All I really learned was that careless explosions can cost you your freedom. I made a mental note to tell everybody at Lakewood that.

I stayed several days at Neil's place. His dad just wouldn't let me go home, saying that Neil hardly ever brought friends over, and it was my duty to take the place of all of them. I learned basic self-defense from him (because it would be a pity if his friend happened to kick the bucket) and my girl-evading skills hit a new high. I could now sneak by Ishtar without her even hearing me. I never did figure out what war it was that the grandfather was in, or why his uncle Geoffrey spoke in poetry, but I now believed what everybody had told me: the Blakes were the craziest of the rich crazy people.

Eventually, they let me go and sent me in one of the cars back to Grandma's.

I opened the door to her condo to see her and Adam in a deep, emotional conversation. My grandmother held a white handkerchief (Ten to one odds that it was Adam's), and was wiping her eyes. "That's just to beautiful." She said, sniffling.

"I'm home." I said, tossing my duffel bag in the direction of the guest room I had been using.

"Welcome back, Nathalie." Adam said. I wasn't sure, but this could have been the first time he had called me by my real name.

Grandma finished wiping her eyes. "You were gone?"

"Yes." I replied, sighing. It's nice to be missed when you disappear for nearly a week.

"Adam was just telling me such a touching story about when he saved a kitten in a tree." Grandma explained.

"You don't even like cats." I reminded her.

"I do now."

I sighed heavily. "Will you get out, Adam?"

"Is that any way to talk to a gentleman?" My grandmother scolded.

"Since when has Adam been a gentleman?" I muttered and went into my room. I didn't want to be the third wheel in their little sob story party.

ADVENTURES AT THE BLAKE ESTATE PART FOUR

I ended up spending the night at Neil's. His father insisted, and, when I called Grandma to make sure it was alright, she reminded me not to get pregnant until I was married, but I was free to experiment until then.

Another bed was brought into Neil's room, because guys don't share the same bed, and, after several virtual reality games (they were so cool) we went to bed.

Or so we tried. Geoffrey refused to allow a man and a woman to share a room. It didn't matter how often I tried to tell him that I was a guy. He wouldn't listen. He slept on the floor between us.

Ishtar came in next, saying that if Geoffrey was going to sleep with me, she was going to too. She grabbed a pillow and fell asleep instantly beside me. Of course, as a girl, I had no problem with this. My friends and I shared a bed all the time. But, as a 'man,' I was looked on with curious eyes by Neil, who began to speak, then said, "Never mind. I know you won't do anything to her."

At about three in the morning, Raymond, tugging on the hem of Butterfly's grey pajamas, came in, saying he was lonely. Since getting into Neil's bed would have been an acrobatic feat, for one would have had to jump over Geoffrey, lying sprawled in the weirdest of angles, Neil's oh-so-adorable little brother climbed into my bed.

Squished between Ishtar (who kept trying to hug me) and Ray, I didn't get much sleep. Finally, I drifted off for about two hours, and Ray woke us all at six with a family sized box of Cheerios.

"Ray?" Neil sat up in his giant bed. "What are you doing?"

"Look, Neil, you can lower your cholesterol." Ray said, pointing excitedly to the box. "Cholesterol. That's a bad thing, right."

Neil smiled and ruffled his brother's hair. "Yeah. Thanks for thinking about me."

"You have high cholesterol?" I asked.

Neil shook his head when Ray wasn't looking. "Where did you find this?" He asked.

"Butterfly took me to the grocery store." Ray said proudly as Butterfly stood silently in the corner. "Did I do good?"

"You did well." Neil corrected. "But you know father hates it when we eat foods not prepared by our chefs. I don't think he'll let us have it."

"I guess you're right." Ray said sadly. "I'll go feed it to the Jackson."

"Jackson?" I asked.

"It's his peacock." Ishtar replied, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"And why can't you eat the Cheerios?" My question hung in the air for a long time before Neil decided to answer it.

"It's our mother." He said. "She was poisoned. Now all food is prepared by our own chefs."

Way to set a great morning mood, Nathalie. I thought. I bet they're all going to be cheery today.

ADVENTURES AT THE BLAKE FAMILY ESTATE PART THREE: DINNER

After a while, Neil and I went down to dinner. But this wasn't just any evening meal. It was a six course affair with plenty of wars stories and perfect manners. I sat down next to Neil at the long dining table, and we waited patiently for the other family members to arrive.

Raymond came with Butterfly. I knew that it had to be him because the little boy looked like a younger Neil. It was if the photograph of Neil's younger self had lost weight. (Remember, Neil was pudgy back in his youth.) Ray clung tightly to Butterfly's hand and looked at me with innocent, sapphire eyes and asked sweetly, "Who's this?"

"My friend Ethan from school." Neil replied. "Butterfly knows him too."

Ray smiled charmingly at me, (I had a sinking feeling that he would turn into someone like Adam) and asked me why I looked so much like a girl.

"So you think so too, young one?" Geoffrey stepped into the room. "Astute eyes like yours have not yet gone blind to the ways of the world."

"Speaking of sharp eyes," Ishtar's voice came from beneath the table. "Did you know that he shaves his legs?"

"I swim." I lied quickly.

"Great. We have a pool. You can show us your stuff."

"I wish I could, but I'm allergic to chlorine." I lied again.

"Poor child. It be taken from what you hold so dear...It must be akin to torture."

"It's not that bad." I said. "Ishtar, what are you doing under the table?"

"Wondering if I can get you to remember me by aromatic incense while you eat."

"How many times do I have to tell you, I'm not Tammuz."

"Tammuz, that reminds me." And old man said, entering the room and taking a seat at the head of the table. I guessed that he was Grandpa. "I remember, when I was in the war, we were fighting a strange guerrilla force that kept hiding in the trees. We couldn't shoot them down because the branches were too think. Thick enough to make a log cabin, I think, and it was dangerous terrain. I lost a lot of men there." He sighed heavily. "That damn war took a lot of innocent live, it did."

"What does that have to do with Tammuz?" Ishtar asked, then turned to me and added, "You should pay close attention. You might remember something."

"Well, in the war, I fought along side a Turkish boy--at least I think he was Turkish--and he was nicknamed Tammuz because he fell in love with a whore." Neither he nor Ishtar seemed to catch the insult.

Neil's father arrived, and dinner was served.

"I don't like this soup." Raymond said. "It tastes like quail eggs."

"That's because it does have quail eggs." Neil's father explained. "Its called 'Buddha Jumps over the Wall' and is quite delicious. Did you know it takes several days to prepare? It would be doing the cook an injustice if you didn't eat it."

Raymond looked at the bowl dubiously. "Are you sure it takes so long to make it?"

"Quite sure."

Ray grimaced, but sipped the soup like a good child. I couldn't help but mentally "aaaawwweeee"at how cute and respectful it was.

Neil's grandfather told another story, about a time in "the war" when his unit was forced to eat duck eggs for a month. I still wasn't sure which war it was, and when I asked Neil later, he just shrugged. I guess no one knew.

During the Wagyu steak, there was another war story about death by chipmunks and a history lesson on Genghis Khan. Then for desert (by this time I was absolutely stuffed) we ate expensive tasting chocolate truffles. I realized that in this meal alone, I had probably consumed such pricey foods that all the other foods I have ever eaten in my entire life would not equal it. I made a mental note never to give Neil something cheep from a grocery store. It might not sit well in his stomach with the caviar.

ADVENTURES AT THE BLAKE ESTATE PART TWO

After awhile, I did run into Neil at his house. He was in the second basement (because one basement isn't enough), in the middle of a spectacular hand-to-hand combat match with his father. It was like something out of the movies, it was so good, but then Neil looked over his shoulder at me and called a halt. "Ethan's here, I'm going." He told his father.

Bernard Blake, Neil's dad, looked up and saw me standing by the stairs. "Ethan." He cried happily. "Come here and let me give you a proper welcome."

Neil stepped between us. "Don't listen to anything that crazy old man says." He warned. "Let's go upstairs. Have you met my sister yet?"

I laughed. "Yeah. She seems to think I'm Tammuz, Ishtar's reincarnated lover."

Neil sighed. "What about Raymond? Have you met him?"

"I might have. Does he speak in bad poetry by any chance?"

"No. That would be Geoffrey. Ray is my little brother."

"And Geoffrey isn't?"

"No." Neil said, looking slightly embarrassed. "He's my uncle. My grandfather remarried after his first wife died. He's a year younger than me."

"Wow." Rich people's families are sure messed up.

"Have you run into Butterfly?" Neil asked, changing the subject. "He's here right now. So is Grandfather."

"The one that remarried?"

"Yeah." We were now in the kitchen, where a cook in white worked on some giant ham, presumably for lunch. "Are you hungry? Do you want any food?"

"I'm fine."

Neil speared a thick piece of ham with a silver fork and ate it. "Working out sure gives you an appetite."

We went upstairs to the third floor, where roughly ten bedrooms overlooked the grounds. Neil's was on the corner, and just as I was about to go in, Geoffrey, the bad poet, popped out of the next room. "O lovely maiden." He cried when he saw me. "Go not into that chamber. A man and a woman should never--"

"Ethan's a guy." Neil corrected him.

"Nephew, please desist." Geoffrey begged, grabbing Neil's hand dramatically. "This union will never be blessed. Desist at once and go thither to the church before you make such actions." He turned to me, dropping his nephew's hand. "Fair maiden, please. If this man seeks to take such beauty for himself, simply call upon me to protect you. I--"

"I'm a guy." I told him, again.

"No. No man can can be so womanly."

"Ethan goes to Lakewood." Neil saved me. "He's a guy."

"I cannot believe it." Geoffrey exclaimed. "Show me the proof."

I rolled my eyes. "Do you really want proof that you're turning gay, or do want to fantasize a little longer?"

Geoffrey looked me up and down. "I'd like to fantasize." He replied and left, blushing.

"Well," Neil began. "Sorry about him. Want to come in?" He opened the door to show me a magnificently proportioned room. Then Ishtar jumped out from behind the four poster bed.

"What are you doing in here?" Neil asked as his beautiful sister as she collected several charms from around the room.

"I just want him to remember me." She said tearfully. "Tammuz, please come back to me."

Neil pointed to the open doorway. "Out."

Ishtar did as she was told, giving me a sad smile as she left.

"Sorry." Neil apologized. "I guess you're now scared for life."

"From your uncle, yes." I said. "But your sister is stunning." That's what a guy would say, right? No, it wasn't. "She's hot." I corrected myself.

Neil smiled. "Everyone says that. She looks just like my mother."

Right, Neil's dead mother. I didn't want to get onto such a depressing topic. It would make him uncomfortable. Tactlessly, I asked, "So, um, Neil, Do you like apples?"

ADVENTURES AT THE BLAKE ESTATE PART ONE

Neil's car arrived promptly at eight o' clock. A man in a black suit got out from the driver seat and opened the door for me. I threw my green duffel bag into the back seat and got in after it. The man shut the door and we were off.

Last night had been rough. I had spent half an hour telling Grandma that I didn't need a pedicure. Then I spent another hour convincing her that I didn't need birth control. She argued that if I was going to sleep with this boy, I better not get pregnant, because she hadn't approved him as a father to her great-grandchildren. I told her over and over again that I (or Neil, for that matter) wasn't like that. I wasn't sure if she believed me, but she gave up around ten at night.

So then I called Adam and asked him to help me. I wasn't sure what he could do, but he knew my secret and could come too. As Neil's childhood friend, it wouldn't have been too bad if he invited himself. Apparently though, Adam's influence wasn't as strong in the real world, and he said he was already doing me enough favors by letting me off work for an undetermined amount of time.

"Undetermined?" I repeated. "But I'll only be gone for a day."

Adam laughed and hung up.

At nine, the car pulled into a tree lined drive. Through the palm trees, I could see a wide, open, and well manicured lawn, and then, as we came around a slight bend, a magnificent house with so many windows that I could see the white beach on the other side.

"Amazing" I think I said, because the driver chuckled as we pulled around the circle drive. As I got out of the car, I was hit by a light spray of water from the tall fountain. It was so beautiful.

I walked up to the white double doors and raised my hand to ring the doorbell when they sprang apart. A girl whose beauty put the house to shame stood in the doorway, and could only be Neil's sister. She had his same dark brown hair and the same blue eyes and wore a lacy white dress and several heavy gold necklaces. She looked so sweet and innocent that I felt a strong desire to have her as a little sister.

"You must be Ishtar." I remembered Neil calling her that. "I'm Ethan, Neil's friend."

"Oh, yes." Ishtar said, sounding slightly flustered. Maybe they didn't get company much. "Come in."

Inside the house, it looked as if a genius interior designer with a fetish for plants had arranged the whole place. There wasn't a single book out of place and no clutter to be found. I couldn't help but wonder if anyone really lived here.

"Where's Neil?" I asked.

"Probably the second basement." Ishtar answered. "I'll take you there."

On our way through the beach house, I couldn't help but wonder why every said that the Blake family was crazy. Neil was almost mundanely normal, and, though Butterfly had his quirks, he wasn't that bad. Ishtar, too, seemed pretty normal.

I was thinking that maybe the rest of the family would be just as ordinary, when a vase flew through the air, straight at Ishtar. I could only think about saving her beautiful face--it was just so perfect, and, even as a totally straight female, she was just too pretty to lose--and I brought my hand up and blocked the vase from hitting her, cutting my hand on the glass in the process.

Several butlers rushed to the rescue and began to clean up the shattered glass. "Are you hurt, Miss Ishtar?" One asked.

Ishtar just looked at me, her big eyes wide and in shock.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

Ishtar blinked. "Tammuz?"

"What?"

"Tammuz?" She repeated. "You're..." She reached out a hand to touch my face. "You're...Tammuz."

I stepped back quickly. "No, I'm Ethan." I knew my Babylonian mythology. Tammuz was Ishtar's (or Inanna's) lover. Though I thought she was beautiful, I didn't swing that way. So I just ran for it. It was my only defence against women. After about fifteen minutes, I was pretty sure that I lost her. The problem,was, I had also lost myself in the process.

I stood in a tropical garden, heavily shaded by tall palm trees and densely foliaged. I could hear the sound of the ocean to my right and the chirp of some tropical bird to my left. I wondered which way to go for awhile, until I heard the sound of footsteps. Damn. I thought. What strange ritual would that crazy girl make me go through?

But it wasn't a girl who stepped through the trees; it was a boy, probably about fourteen years old, holding a rose and muttering to himself. "My poor heart." He said, clutching his chest with his empty hand. "Caught in her web of long black hair, clutched in her dainty hands. O woe is me. I beg you, Heart, do not love again. It is too painful. Too much like a sword. O--" Then he noticed me. "Stranger, this be not public land. Come hither, and I will show you the way out."

Was it just be, but was this guy taking in poetry? Not good poetry, but stuff that he seemed to make up on the spot? What a pretentious little rich kid. "I'm here to see Neil. I got lost."

"Let us go then to the main house." The boy declared. He pointed and we left the forest garden by cutting through several giant ferns.

The light dazzled me a moment after we stepped out. I hadn't noticed how dark it was in there. But when I looked around for the boy, I found him two steps behind me, staring with the same rapt attention as Ishtar had.

Oh no. I thought.

"Beautiful maiden." The boy said, dropping to one knee. "Until now, I knew only of the beauty of plastered faces and powered cheeks. But you, you are still more lovely, without such things. Your style of dress, your mannish disposition, I almost mistook you for a boy. But with such--"

"I am a guy." I interrupted.

The boy looked shocked. "No. No god in heaven, no matter how wise or cruel, could have made such a lovely boy. No boy should have such bright eyes, such an inviting smile, such perfect skin. The curve of your arm, the blush in your cheeks, the seductive crevasse of your lips. A boy! A boy! If you are so, then why art thou yet so fair?"

Seductive crevasse of my lips? I had to hold back laughter. This guy was pathetic. "I don't know." I told him. "I guess I just look like a girl.

ADVENTURE AT THE BLAKE ESTATE PART TWO COMING LATER.

Neil called this afternoon.  

"Aren't we popular?"  Grandma said when I rushed across the condo to grab my phone before it kicked him to voicemail.  That would be bad.

"Hey."  I said. 

"Ethan?"  

"Yeah, it's me.  What's up?"

"I've just landed in Florida."  Neil said.  "Do you want to come over to my place for a day or so?"

"Adam said you weren't coming til next week."  

"Since when have you trusted that guy?  Didn't you read my letter?"

My mind went to the white envelope, unopened, and still in my beach bag.  "Um...no."

"Well, can you come?" 

"Let me ask."  I put the phone up to my shoulder, so the sound wouldn't go through to Neil, and asked, "Can I visit a friend from school tomorrow?"

"What's her name?"  Grandma asked.

"His name is Neil."  

"You're going to visit a boy?"

"Yeah, we're room--"  What was I thinking?! I shut up quickly.  "We're pretty close."  I covered badly and took a gulp of water from my water bottle.  

"Have you slept with him?"

The water seemed to have lost its will to go down, and I ended up on the floor, coughing and spluttering.  "Ethan?"  Neil said from my phone, which was now on the floor.  "Are you alright?"

"I take that as a 'no'."  Grandma said as I grabbed my phone and put it back to my ear.  

"Yeah, I can come."  I told him.  "Can I get your address?"

"Don't bother."  Neil replied.  "I'll send a car over for you.   Adam already told me the location of your grandmother's condominium."  

"Ok."  I said.  "What time should I be ready?"

"Eight o' clock in the morning, if that's alright."  He said.  "It's a little less than an hour drive.  And, Ethan?"

"Yes?"

"Please bring everything you'll need for several days."

"Why?"

"Just be prepared for the worst."  He said seriously.   "Don't forget your swimsuit."  

I was making breakfast in the kitchen when my cell phone rang.  "Can you grab that, Grandma?" I called, since she was closer.  

"Alright."  She picked up the phone and cut the ring tone off as she answered.  "Hello?"

A moment of pause.  "Sorry."  My Grandmother said.  "I can't here you."  She turned the volume up as high as it went.  

"Hello."  Taki's amplified voice said, and it was loud enough for me to hear it.  "Is Ethan there?"

My grandmother looked at me.  "No, this is his sister's phone."  She said, while using charades to tell me, "there's a boy on the phone!"

"Well, do you know what number I can use to contact him.  He's my best friend, you see, and I haven't see him in a week.  Nii-chan's private jet isn't leaving til tomorrow, and so I wanted to--"

"You don't have to tell me your life story, young man."  My grandmother told him. "Here's Ethan's sister to give you his number."  She held out my phone.

"Hey."  I said in a slightly higher than normal voice, trying to sound as much like a girl as possible.

"ETHAN!" Taki yelled, and I had to hold the phone about a foot away from my ear.  I turned down the volume.  

"I'm Ethan's sister."  I explained.  

"You sound just like him on the phone."

"That's what everyone says."  I ended up giving Taki a totally random number and told him to have a nice vacation.

"You sounded rather stressed talking to that boy."  Grandma commented when I hung up.

"Really?"

"Yes.  Do you two have a history?"  

I laughed. "You could say that."  Not so much a history as a soap opera, only he didn't know it yet.  

Patrick and I exchanged phone numbers today.  It was extremely awkward.  Grandmother had sent me over to give Emmett (his grandfather) some of the extra food we had.  (She said it tasted bad reheated.  I think she just wanted Patrick and I to see each other.) But, whatever the reasons, Patrick was home alone and welcomed me inside.

I told him that I trusted him completely, but I had always been taught to never enter a boy's house without at least two chaperons.

He laughed.  "OK.  We can stand here."

I held out the Tupperware.  "I brought food.  There was too much, and Grandma thought that you guys would be hungry and..."

He laughed again.  "Thanks.  I love spaghetti."

I laughed nervously.  "Good.  I would have called, except--"

"You don't have my number."  Patrick finished for me.  "Here, where's your phone?"

I pulled it out of my pocket.  "Will you put it in under Patrick or Torarin?"

"Which would you prefer?"  He asked, quickly pressing the keys.  

"Either."

"Then I'll surprise you."  He handed back my phone and whipped out his own.  "And your number is?"

I gave it to him. 

"I think that you're the first girl who's number I have.  Besides my mom, of course."  He laughed awkwardly.

"Really?"  I asked.  Yes, this was pathetic flirting on my part.  "I would have never guessed.  I feel honored."

And then we just stood there an embarrassing silence, until I said, very quickly, "Well, got to be going now.  Bye."

He waved as I dashed down the hall, my face bright red and my phone clutched tightly in my hand.  I checked my new contact, and found that Patrick had put is name in as "That Guy." I shook my head and laughed.  

Adam became the local eye candy for the beach.  Everywhere he went, girls' heads turned to follow his every move.  And who wouldn't?  With his wavy blond hair tossed by the breeze off the ocean, and his eyes the color of the cloudless sky, not to mention his perfectly tanned skin, and a body any girl would die to embrace, he was the ne plus ultra of all men, except maybe Neil, who looked more or less like a Greek god.

So today, when the model-quality, capricious hunk was walking on the beach in orange swim trunks and sunglasses, everyone, and I mean everyone (yes, everyone includes me), turned to stare.  He smiled at a few girls, gave is hair a sexy toss, and pushed his sunglasses up.  He stood there looking like a particularly attractive statue, until Tiberius and Genghis Khan, the sheep, raced up to him, jumping and kicking and making the occasional bathroom stop.  

At that instant, the girls lost interest.  

I chuckled to myself and turned over, trying to dry myself in the sun, and hoped that he didn't see me.  

"Ethan, what are you doing here?"

Just ignore it, and maybe it will go away.  I reminded myself.  

"Ethan."

I can't hear you.

I realized that the ignoring thing only works when the person you're ignoring is smaller and weaker than you.  Adam picked me up, threw me over his shoulder, and carried me to the water.  I kicked and pounded his back the whole way, until he dumped me underwater and I had to worry about not swallowing salt water.  

Adam stood triumphantly over me, smiling.  He tsk-ed, shaking his head.  "You can't beat me, little Ethan."  He said.  "Just give up."

"Why would I do something stupid like that?"  I asked innocently.  

Adam splashed me with his foot.  "Neil will be at his Florida villa next week.  He asked that I tell you to visit him."  He snapped his fingers, and a man in a suit and dark sunglasses hurried to his side, handed him a slip of paper, and left.  "This is the address."  Adam explained.  "Be there around eleven and you might be gone a while."

"What do you mean?" I asked.  

Adam just grinned.  "His father's crazy, you know.  A genius, but absolutely insane."

Working at Adam's father's restaurant wasn't as bad as I feared it would be.  My job was pretty easy, and, as a waitress, I got a decent tip.  In fact, it was more than decent.  I was pretty proud of myself, and, at the end of the day, Patrick/Torarin came to pick me up.  Grandfather's order.

"Ready?"  He asked, standing awkwardly in the doorway.  

"Just a minute."  I told him and went over to where Adam was sitting, typing on a high-tech laptop.  The eyes of every girl in the building were practically glued to him.  I wondered if he even noticed.  "I'm leaving now."  I told him.

"Sure."  He didn't look up.  "Do you have a ride?"

"I'm walking back with Patrick."

Adam snapped his laptop closed.  "You're walking with a boy?"

"Yeah."  I told him.  "I am a girl in the prime of her life, if you haven't noticed."

"I'll come with you."

"No, you will not."  I replied.  "You may be able to bully me around at school, but this is summer, and--"

"Is there a problem with an upperclassman just wanting to look after his junior?"

"Yes!"  I said loudly.  "If that upperclassman is you."  

"Let's go, Nathalie."  Patrick said, coming over to Adam's table and standing by my side. 

There was a stare down between the two boys.  Adam won and ended up walking all the way back to Grandma's condo with us.  Patrick looked annoyed.  I was used to it.  

Alex called today around noon.  I was walking on the beach in my swimsuit, looking for the perfect place for a picnic.  

"What's up?"  I said when I answered the phone.  

"Hey Ethan."  Alex said.  "I wanted to see you before I left Lakewood, but I had a three O clock flight."

"No problem."  I said.  "We'll see each other in a few months anyway."

"That was what I wanted to see you about."

"What do you mean?"

"I won't be returning to Lakewood."

"What?  You have to return.  I mean, you're one of the Four Lords.  You can't not come back."

"Sorry."  Alex said sadly, and the dial tone came on as he hung up.

"Damn it."  I shouted at my phone.  "Does this mean that we'll never see each other again?  You can't do this to me.  I didn't even get to say good bye."

"Nathi?"  Patrick/Torarin asked.  "Why are you talking to yourself?"

"I never got to say good bye."  I said, sniffling.  

"Hey, hey."  Patrick said gently.  "Don't cry.  Please don't cry." 

I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand.  "I'm not crying.  I just have something in my eye."

"Nathi, Nathi."  Patrick shook his head, smiling.  "You're not a boy right now.  You're a girl.  You can cry all you want."

Maybe it was just the wrong time of the month for one of my friends to leave forever, but I ended up crying for several minutes on Patrick's t-shirt.  I thought about crying a little longer, just so he would hold me, but then I heard the unattractive, hiccuping noises I was making and pulled away from him.  "How about here for a picnic?"  I asked, fully recovered.  

"Sure.  Should we wait for the grandparents?"  He spread out one of those gigantic beach towels on the white sand.

"No.  They probably won't come anyway."  I opened the picnic basket and started setting out the sandwiches and fruit.  "I'm sorry I got your shirt all wet."

"It's no problem."  He replied.  "I was thinking about taking it off anyway."

And he did, revealing such beautiful muscles that I really wanted nothing more but to stare at them.  He was like a David or some Adonis, under that shirt.  I blushed.  Was that really the chest that I had been cradled against?!  In order to avoid turning as red as Taki did, I turned my attention to the food.  

Patrick looked in the basket to help me get more stuff out, and removed a note from the inside.  "Have fun, kids."  He read aloud.  "Signed, the Grandparents."

I put my head in my hand.  These old people were really looking forward to great-grand kids. 

Later that day, I applied for a job at one of the local ocean-side restaurants, where you just walked up in your swimsuit and ate lunch or dinner or whatever.  They said they'd call me back.  They didn't.  Adam did.

"So you're working at one of Daddy's restaurants?"  He said over the phone.  "You start tomorrow.  Ten o clock."

I groaned into the receiver.  "You own that place?  I'll chose a different job."  

"I told you that you start tomorrow, E-than."  Adam said, and there was no joking in his tone.  "I'll see you there."

Would I ever escape him?

My grandmother threw a fit when she saw my hair.  

"It makes you look like a boy, dear."  She said.

"That's kinda the point, Grandma."  I replied under my breath.

"But it was so beautiful long."  She said, fingering my short hair.  

"It'll grow back."  I reminded her.  "Don't you have Bingo Thursday nights?"  

"Right."  Grandma grabbed her jacket.  I don't know why she needed it; it was like eighty degrees outside.  "You be a good girl, now."  She told me.  "Emmett will be along any moment to pick me up.  He's bringing his grandson for you to meet."

"I really don't need to meet anymore guys."  I told her. 

"Well, you aren't going out with that Evan boy, are you?"  

"No, but--"

"You should be looking to find yourself a good husband."

"But I'm fifteen!"

"Right.  You're almost past your prime."

The doorbell rang, and Grandma opened it.   Standing in the door frame was an old man with grey hair and a cane and--

"Patrick!"  I shouted.  "What are you doing here?"  

"You!"  Patrick pointed a finger and shouted back.  "You!"

"Looks like they know each other."  The old man said to my grandmother.  "Have fun kids."  

"See you later, Torarin and Nathalie."  My grandmother called and she pushed Patrick inside.   "Don't get pregnant."

They shut the door and were gone.

Patrick and I immediately started yelling at each other.  

"You're a girl?! You told me you were a guy! What are you doing at Lakewood if you're a girl?  I can't believe you're not a guy!"

"What are you doing here?  I can't believe you saw me dressed as a girl.  What am I going to do now?!"

There was a moment of silence during which each others words sunk in.

"So your real name is Torarin?"  I asked him.

Patrick nodded.  "Patrick is my middle name.  My parents were suckers for mythology.  Your real name is Nathalie, right?"

"Yeah.  I got into Lakewood on a scholarship.  Please don't tell anyone."

"Why would I do something like that?"  Patrick--Torarin--asked.  "I'll keep it a secret for you."

"Really?"  I looked up at him.  "Thank you so much."  

"No problem."  He laughed nervously and ran a hand through his chestnut colored hair.  

I stepped into the kitchen and grabbed a tray of chocolate chip cookies that my grandmother had made for my arrival.  "Want a cookie?"  I asked.

Torarin/Patrick and I spent the evening watching reruns of Star Trek and eating food.  I fell asleep at some point, and didn't wake up until Torarin/Patrick was leaving, his grandfather berating him loudly about decency to women and telling him that, though he had said to have fun, it did not mean get someone pregnant.  I had to explain to him that all we did was watch TV.  The grandparents seemed to be a little let down.  

Taki cried this morning when the taxi arrived to take me to the airport.  He hugged me like girls do, and, after several moments, I said, "Hey, you can let go now."

"But I'm going to miss you, Ethan."  Taki sniffled.  

"You know,"  Neil said from a few feet away.  "Any person would think you're gay if they say you holding Ethan like that."

Taki immediately let go.  "I'm not gay."  He said, crossing his arms defiantly.  

I got in the car.  "Bye, guys."

"See you."  Neil waved as Taki cried out, "No! Don't leave me!"

I looked out the back window, and the last thing I saw before we pulled away was Taki trying to convince Neil that he wasn't gay, Edmund talking on his cell phone, and Neil laughing.  I sniffled.  I'd definitely miss those guys.  

"You want to battle Neil?"  Adam laughed.  "You're a hundred years too early, kid."

"I'm not a kid."  Evan snapped.  "I'm going to beat his sorry little ass and send him home crying to his mother."

"I don't think that's possible."  Neil said lightly.  "My mother's been dead for eight years."

There was an awkward moment of silence, followed by another moment of silence.  "OK."  Adam broke it.  "Reining champ, C. Blake, battling E. Hart of Amethyst Drive."  

And then it began.  Watching from a back corner of the stage, I noticed that Neil's abilities were just as good, if not better, the Evan's.  The problem was that neither one was screwing up or doing something much better.  If Evan added a complex rhythm, Neil matched it and did a cool slide.  Or something.  It was intense, like camping intense.  Just watching it made you glad that it wasn't you under those bright lights facing someone you could neither lose to or beat.

After a while, Adam called a halt and brought Damien out from behind the stage.  He finished buttoning his pants and did a little guitar solo before returning to the girl.  

"Hey Neil."  I said.  "Let's go get some food."

"I'm not hungry."  He said, not looking at me but glaring at Evan.  

"Alright, then."  I said and crossed the gym, hid behind several groups to avoid Caroline, and was holding a glass of punch when men in suits began clearing the stage of the band stuff.  "What's going on?"  I asked Adam, who was closest.

"What's your favorite song, little Ethan?"  He asked, ignoring my question.  

"Vienna, by Billy Joel."  I replied automatically.  "Why do you ask?"

Adam smiled and winked.  "You needn't worry about things like that."  He put a hand on my hair and ruffled it.  

"Hey."  I knocked his arm out of the way and attempted to flatten my hair.  "Leave me alone, will you?"  

Adam smiled again and climbed onto the stage, where a grand piano now stood.  There was no introduction.  He just sat down and played like a master.  And the song he played was no other that Billy Joel's Vienna.  And then Adam sang along, and his god-like voice rand out across the now silent gym. 

"I am in love."  Xoi whispered to my left, staring at Adam with her big green eyes.  

"I'm leaving." I said.  "I'll see you this summer."

In the hallway, I ran into my least favorite person in the world.  "Evan."  I said with disdain.  "What are you doing here?"

"What's he to you?"  Evan said.  Was it just something about me that made people ignore what I say?  

"What's who to me?"  I asked.  

"That bastard Neil."  Evan shouted, grabbing my by the shoulders.  "Nathi, what's he to you?"

"My roommate?"  I answered cautiously.  "My good friend."

"Does he know?  He does, doesn't he?"

"I'm sure he doesn't know."  I said soothingly.  Evan seemed really agitated.   Then I realized that I didn't care whether he was agitated or not, because I hated him with a passion that fuels my soul.  Well, maybe not that much.  

"Good."  He release my shoulders.  "I'm leaving."

"Fine with me."  I said, and he walked away moodily.

"I came to rescue you."  The Second Violin said, coming from around the bend.  "But you really didn't need it.  So your real name is Nathi."

"Nathalie."  I corrected.  "And I thought I told you to stop talking about it."

"I think I missed that."  The Second Violin said.  "Did that occur when our faces were about an inch apart, because I was thinking about other things at that time?"

"Are you a pervert and a mask wearing lunatic?"  I asked and dashed away before he could answer.  

One year down.  I repeated to myself on the way back to my dorm.  One year down.  Three to go.  

From today onward, I am free. No longer bound by the rigorous schedule of school, no longer forced to attend to Adam's every whim, and in less than twenty-four hours, I would be on a plane to Florida and could wear a dress without being called a transvestite. I was in my own private paradise, until Adam broke into the office and said over the intercom, "Hello, everybody. The girls from Saint Catherine's will be here shortly. Please go to the gymnasium for the Seniors graduation party."

"Come on, Ethan." Neil said, when I was protesting his decision to go.

"No way." I clung onto the door frame, just in case he tried to force me. "It sounds suspicious."

"I swear, it's nothing but a graduation party. They have one every year."

"If it's just a regular party, why are you bringing your guitar?"

Neil looked at his back, where the case for his Gibson was slung over his shoulder. "I never said it was a usual party. Now come on."

"Dude!" A familiar voice said from down the hall.

"Xoi!" I exclaimed. "Are you here for the party?"

"Yeah. It sound great."

"Neil and I were just going. Right, Neil?" I said, and had to punch him in the side for laughing.

Xoi laughed, and then realized that there was an amazingly hot guy in her presence. She leaned closer and whispered in my ear, "His hotness is practically blinding. How can you live with it?"

"It takes serious skill." I told her, and the three of us went to the gym together.

"Welcome, welcome." Adam was saying as we entered. He stood on the stage where several trap sets, guitar amps, microphones, and keyboards were set up.

"Oh, no." I said, but no one heard me above the yammering of the students.

Adam spoke again. "This year's party is a battle of the bands. It works like this. A single band will start out playing and anyone from the audience can challenge them by bringing up their own instrument and playing better than the member of the band. If there is no one who plays your instrument, feel free to just jump in." He smiled and I'm pretty sure that Xoi was trying really hard to to melt into a puddle of happiness. "Everyone," Adam called. "Let's rock."

There were screams as several seniors took the stage and began to play a jam session.  It was pretty good, for high schoolers, but soon someone jumped onto the stage, grabbed drum sticks and challenged the drummer. It became a sort of one-on-one, but with the other band members providing a sort of melody for the two drummers. The first drummer lost when he screwed up when the other drummer was banging out a solo. I couldn't help thinking that if this was all this party was going to be, I'd be better off in my room reading, but then I noticed that Neil had left my side and was standing on the edge of the stage, waiting for a chance to jump into the musical battle.

It's hard to explain what happened next, but for thirty or so minutes, it was pandemonium. Eventually, Butterfly ended up playing the drums, Neil had the guitar position along with an unknown--but insanely good-looking--Senior, Alex was playing the keyboard, and Adam strummed a bass guitar.

"O my God." Xoi said. "He's a left handed bass."

"What?"

"A lefty and a bass player. I think I'm in love."

"Hang on." I checked the stage. "Are you talking about Adam?"

"You mean the glorious left handed bass player up there, wearing sunglasses?" Xoi took a big bite out of her hunk of bread. "Of course, it's Adam."

"Are you kidding me?" I took her by the shoulders. "You can't like Adam. Sure, he's so hot he makes you practically wet your pants, but behind that beautiful face is a monster, a capricious, semi-sadistic monster! As a friend, I could never allow you to date him."

"That's alright." Xoi said, gazing raptly at Adam and eating her bread. "We can skip those unimportant steps and just get married."

"I'm going to get food." I told her. I had just found the punch table when someone tapped me on the shoulder.

"How are we this fine evening?" The Second Violin said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I do go to school here."

"Are you graduating?"

"No, not this year." The Second Violin adjusted his mask, and this time is was a black satin party mask.  He pointed to the stage, where The unknown senior was doing a guitar solo.  "Do you want to go up there?"  He asked me.

"I don't want to kick Alex off the keyboard."  I replied.

"I think you're forgetting a key instrument."

"The flute?"

"No, the violin, silly girl."

I grabbed his tie and pulled his head down so I could whisper in his ear, "Don't call me that.  Ever."  Then I realized how close his face was to mine and how totally awkward the position was, and I let go of his tie quickly and took two steps forward so he couldn't see how red my face was.

"Alright." The Second Violin straightened his tie.  "If you're so upset, I guess I won't be able to offer you one of my electric violins."

"Electric violins?"  I repeated.  "Really?"

"Of course.  Didn't you know that you can add a violin solo into just about any song?"

And that was how I ended up on the stage with the Second Violin and the rest of the band.  

((THERE WILL BE MORE LATER, PROBABLY AT LEAST TWO MORE POSTS.))

"How was it?" Taki asked as soon as I emerged from my chemistry final. Since he had study hall that period, he had waited anxiously outside the classroom.

"Not something I ever want to experience again." I said, sighing and leaning against the wall for support. That test had been as physically draining as the gym final.

"Is there anything I can do to assist you, O great and noble Ethan?" Cole suddenly appeared by my side.

"Here." I held out my backpack. "I'm too tired to carry this."

Cole flung it onto his back, right over his own, and grinned energetically. "Anything else, Great One? Perhaps a massage to ease the tension in your shoulders?"

"Hey." Taki stepped between us. "I though we already established this. If anyone's going to give Ethan a back rubs, it's going to be me."

"Listen to what you're saying." Cole said. "Are you in love with him or something?"

"Look at yourself. Are you in love with Ethan?" Taki snorted. "Ethan is my best friend. Of course I feel something for him. Best friends like him fit into the fondest place of your heart. Best friends want to do things with each other, right? Like give each other presents and take them on trips and hold hands."

"I owe my entire existence to Ethan, but I've never wanted to hold his hand."

"Ethan!" Neil called my name from down the hallway, coming out of his own class. "Why are you hitting your head against the wall. You know that's bad for your health."

"No reason." I replied, talking over Taki, who was explaining the depths of male companionship to Cole, who was arguing his every point.

"Let's go." Neil offered. "They don't look like they need us very much."

"Yeah." I agreed, and we were half way down the hall when Taki cried out loudly, presumably to himself, "I'm not gay!"

I was laughing when we rounded a corner. "Sorry," I said to the person I narrowly avoided hitting.

"You again?" Evan sneered down at me. "Do you always laugh so vacuously that you run into people?"

"Do you even know what vacuous means?" I retorted. "Let's go, Neil."

But my roommate was having a stare down with the rock star and couldn't come. I waited for the whole male dominance thing to be over. Even with my new found knowledge of the hierarchy, I still couldn't tell who was the winner. Maybe they'd just have to beat each other up, and the guy less bloody at the end would be the top dog. That was a good plan, I thought, until I remembered that Evan had no reason to fight with Neil.

If that was true, why was Evan glaring at him so viciously?

For the Physical Education final, we played soccer. Thankfully, I was on the same team as Jake, a jock, and Neil, who's just good at everything. We got graded on our participation, skill level, and kicking accuracy. I'm sure the kid who kicked the ball into the place where it should of hurt, had I been a guy, got full points.

Several boys winced. I guess the impact had sounded really bad, and Taki cried out what he thought was my name in a voice that held all the agony I should have been in.

"Oh, God." I moaned, faking as best I could. "It hurts. It hurts. Dear God in heaven. It burns."

"Tough it out, Smith." The coach shouted from the sidelines. "Are you a man or not?"

I smiled secretly to myself and continued playing.

Today, I realized that I no longer hated Adam. I then spent thirty or so minutes, in the middle of my math final, wondering when this happened. I missed the last problem on the free response section (worth seven points) because I ran out of time. I decided to hate Adam again.

Hans and Frans left today. Apparently, they were too busy to bother with getting new tickets to Germany after the three snow days and, through family connections, became exempt from their other finals. I decided to hate them too.

"We're sorry that we can't see you this summer." Hans said as he sat behind the wheel of his bright yellow Porsche.

"Yeah." Frans agreed. "We really wanted to see what kind of dwellings commoners live in. Too bad Oma wouldn't let us."

"You'll have to come visit us once you have your passport."

"Sure." I told them. "Have a great summer."

"Whatever, losers." Frans gave us the classic L on the forehead as his brother drove off.

"So much for a sweet good-bye." I mumbled and Neil, Taki, Edmund, and I went back into the school.

"Did we ever tell you that your aura looks different?"

I jumped about a foot in the air. "Remember the bubble, Zaak, Zack, and Zach. And stop creeping up on me like that."

The trio ignored my comments. "Ethan, your aura is unlike the others."

"Hey." Neil cut in. "Stop scaring my roommate."

"Our apologizes." The Zachs said together.

"I wonder why, though." One of the Zachs said.

"Let us create something that explains it."

"Something that explains the unexplainable?"

"Right." All three smiled at each other and walked off.

"That was a little weird." I said to Neil.

"Just a bit." Neil put a hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry. No one cares if your aura looks different."

"Yeah." I laughed. "Who can even tell what it looks like?"

"Rin can." Taki cut in. "That's how she names people."

"So that's why her name for you is Lilac?" Neil asked.

Taki looked embarrassed and mumbled something about needing to use the restroom. I burst into laughter as soon as he was out of sight.