Now, I should have probably been prepared for the worst when I knocked on the door to room 222. I should have been suspecting something was up when Adam's sweet baritone called "Come in, young Padawan." And when I opened the door to see all four lords dressed like Jedi knights, I knew that this was no normal club.

It took them about five seconds to push me into a curtained off area, costume in my arms. I emerged, dressed like I had just stepped out of Star Wars, and noticed that room 222 was a large, high ceilinged room, big enough to fit a volley ball court. It has shiny tile floors and a wall of mirrors.

"Welcome." Adam said, seated in a throne-like chair.

"Why are you dressed like Jedis?" Was the first of my many questions that found its way to my lips.

"If you don't like my clothes, sweetheart," Damien said, "You can help me take them off."

"I'll pass." I replied flatly.

"Every day, we do different things in our club. Today, we decided to welcome you by lightsaber fight." Adam stood up proceeded to unsheath (I wonder if that's the word for it) a bright blue lightsaber and pointed it at me. "You'll find your weapon strapped to your thigh."

Now this wasn't your everyday, plastic lightsaber. I was pretty sure it was glass, and a glowing light filled the tube with that great "idle hum" sound. (You can get them at thinkgeek.com. I looked it up.)

I lifted the skirt of the robe, grabbed the lightsaber, and spent about a minute trying to figure out how to get the blade to light up. Finally it did, with a sound like from the movies, and what I'd like to call an epic battle followed, with me losing to Adam and his gang. Damian and Butterfly dragged my sore and bruised body to the foot of Adam's throne, and I took up a position of surrender, looking up at the angelic face of the sadist.

"Alright. Alex, tend to her wounds. Butterfly, prepare a new clothes. Damian, bring refreshments." He turned to me. "Now, club dog. What should we do now?"

Kill you slowly and painfully, I thought. Alex grabbed an ice pack and held it to my arm, where Damian's lightsaber had come down on it. "Is this club always like that?" I asked Alex.

"Sometimes." He replied. "Usually, we don't really do anything, but I guess this is like your welcome party."

"Some party."

"No kidding."

Now, maybe it was just the way he looked, but, when talking to Alex, I felt a little like I was talking to a girl. His voice, word choice, and inflection all made him sound rather...girly. "Alex, are you gay?"

"I'm an equal opportunity lover." He replied. "Technically, though, I'm more like 60-40 straight, so its not exactly equal, but you know what I mean."

"Then you'll understand when I say that practically all the guys at this school are really hot?" I asked.

"Yeah, and I totally agree."

"What are you two talking about?" Damian asked, holding Sprites and handing one to Alex and I.

"Hot guys." Alex said.

"Like me?" Damian flashed us that expensive smile of his.

"You wish." I said, but he was definitely up there on the hot guy list.

After that, Adam and Butterfly joined our conversation, and we spent the rest of the time talking. Butterfly, however, with his steely gaze and emotionless face, said a total for three words, and only replied to questions asked directly at him. Damian, I learned, is a egotistical megalomaniac, and Adam switched expertly between the characters of a gentleman and demon.

.....and you think your high school is weird.....